20th February 2016 - Consett (a)

The Boy Mark and I have the 45 minute rule for away games: if it takes longer than that to get to the ground we don't go. The Satnav proclaimed the time to be 47 minutes but since it was Consett with its artificial pitch promising ideal footie conditions and the added bonus of the spacious Consett clubhouse with its massive screens featuring the nation's football action, we made an exception.

Our Consett chums proudly
display the colour team sheet!
What more could you want?

Buy this please....

Whilst enjoying the 0-0 feast between Arsenal and Hull City in the FA Cup, we were even given a COLOUR copy of the teamsheet....beat that Hillheads! We also met up with my Consettly-resident pals  Amy and Leon. Leon's a local so knew the lingo while his wife Amy is a Whitley lass who moved to the hills and now commutes on a daily basis to work with me in North Shields. We often used to see them at Hillheads before they moved and the fact that they have now embraced the delights of Belle Vue Park shows how entertaining the football is. I also met Kevin, a Newcastle fan from Anfield Plain, whose brother I  had written about in...THE 89th MINUTE -  available from Amazon in paperback form and Kindle, would you believe? It turns out his brother and I had both lived in London at the same time and had chatted at Newcastle away games over 28 years ago...small world and a great memory on his behalf! He is enjoying my book btw but was saying how football had changed at the highest level. My answer now is always the same: the Northern League has more character in it than you could shake a stick at...and I've shaken a few sticks I can tell you!

Strawberry soap!

There was added excitement when we discovered the high standards of hygiene set by the Consett - crew: Strawberry flavour hand cream. As the Boy walked out of the toilet, he just managed to stop himself from saying:

"Smell my hands!" 

Not really the best thing for us hard lads to say at the match....? 

It was a nice touch - well done Consett!

Also there was one for each sink...get them!

One thing that was certain was that the wind was going to be a major factor in the game. 

"At least you've come on warm day!" started Leon as he struggled to stay upright as the wind threatened to bowl us over. "You need to be in the lead at half time otherwise you'll struggle in this wind." 

Unfortunately for us the lads didn't heed his advise when Consett scored a rubbish goal - all it was, was a hard shot struck on the half volley straight into the wind. How easy is that? However a few minutes later Shanks struck from a corner to level the scores as the wind carried the ball to him. Our first Whitley goal in four matches.

Some of the local young lads had lost interest in the game and were belting a ball around behind the end defended by their team but one of their passes was wayward and their ball lay just by the corner flag...I had visions Graig McFarlane (that's what it said on the colour team-sheet) bombing down the wing only to either slip on their ball or cross the wrong ball. Something had to be done! An impromptu pitch invasion by the embarrassed culprit saved the day and everyone was able to relax. 

As we turned our attention to the pitch we immediately wished we hadn't as Consett's Sullivan's (Amy and Leon's favourite with his flowing locks) cross was driven into the far corner. It got worse as the home team surged into a 3-1 lead. Normal service had resumed and we weren't ahead with half time approaching.

I'll be needing these!

There was hope when the bun-headed Consett keeper flapped at a wind-diverted corner and there was Laws to pull the Bay back to within one goal. Just before half-time there was more off-pitch aggro in the stands as the ball was collected by a six-year-old girl. No sooner had she readied herself to throw the ball back than her nine-year-old brother had bowled her over, stolen the ball and claimed the credit. 

"That sort of thing should be stamped out of football..." we muttered as we returned our attention to the game, ignoring of the poor little thing crying on the floor. 

No chips were bought!

The Bay almost equalised but a simple-looking tap-in was missed at the far post. 

Half time meant a chance to visit the festival of food on sale at the kiosk...we didn't have any chips and gravy....no, no, no! If we had done so they probably would have instantly frozen as the wind whipped into the corner of the pitch we had made our own.

As the second half began I struggled to attach the Bay Tricoleur in the tornado that was whipping around us. In the previous three games I had failed to re-attach it after our half-time move and we had lost. Therefore I thought it best to do my bit and was delighted to be rewarded by new boy Paul Kane running through on goal and slotting the ball perfectly past Bun-boy. 

That was as good as it got...In the 63rd minute, after a mix-up, Jennison performed a strange dive-over the ball and Consett were ahead. It looked like things were going to get worse when Consett were awarded a penalty, however Jennison made up for his funny antics a few minutes earlier with a fantastic save  to his left from the resulting penalty.

 A Shanks cross almost produced an equaliser for the visitors but our luck had run out. As the final whistle beckoned, an extremely dodgy tackle upon Chris McD saw the youngster react and he was given a single red card.

The Bay had been unlucky to lose but Chan needs to do something about the defence. We have attackers and especially midfielders coming out of our ears...

16th February 2016 - Newton Aycliffe L (h)

Everyone under the stand!

Having raced back from Brighton,
where my eldest had been having a University interview, I was pleased to see that the Bay game was still on. We hadn't seen a drop of rain as we drove up the country but as kick off neared, sure enough, the bane of football's life at the moment reared its damp head. Suitably layered up, the Boy Mark and I set off for a pre-match drink at the Seahorse. Disappointed to have to drink Strongbow (not the tastiest cider for a cider connoisseur), I was brave and drank it all before taking our place under the permanent roof of the stand; rather than our portable ones behind the goal. As it turned out everyone else, virtually, had had the same thought. We were well hard. Even Woodie and Ian Mac had taken the soft option so we enjoyed informing the linesman that we were nice and dry if he wanted to join us.

Safe under here...

Bit of a damp one.

In midfield, new boy Jake (Robbie?) Fowler was in the starting line-up. It was disappointing not to see Callum Anderson taking his usual spot in midfield; remembering how couldn't play midweek for Chan in his previous reign but managed to appear for Paddy. His battling style was sorely missed). Next to Fowler was Kempster, who found it hard to get things started in the boggy midfield. As the rest of the players slipped around on the pitch there was little goalmouth action - despite plenty of huff and puff. Unfortunately, the visitors started to make quicker and more accurate attacks. On a quarter of an hour, Jennison was called upon to dive and save one handed, then his outstretched foot denied another visiting assault.
At the other end there had been little of real note for the foghorn-like James Winter in the visiting goal to save: thankfully he wasn't as loud as the Morpeth keeper who could have sold fruit or Chronicles to any part of the world from his Hillheads goalmouth. However there were moments of hope and the Bay were unlucky when good combination play from Youlden, McFarlane and Kempster came to nothing. A lucky Aycliffe clearance missed the goal narrowly and there was a great save from a shot by Gibson that gave us hope but in true fashion, just when things looked on the up John Campbell popped with a cracking strike across Jennison into the far corner of the Whitley goal to put the visitors ahead. Not what you want a minute before half time.
Luckily it had stopped raining as we queued at Tommy's Tea Tavern. The highlight of the night came when I tried dunking my giant cola bottle into my tea and it proved to be an extremely rewarding experience. Great recommendation Boy Mark!
The second half carried on in the same vain, although there was more of an attacking Bay presence. Alas, the crosses that came in lacked height and rarely found a Bay player. Despite some great build-up play, the final ball was lacking. The best opportunity was a great chip from Shanks which just passed over the crossbar with Mr Foghorn beaten. Kempster tried a similar trick a little later but this drifted over too. With the Bay pushing forward, Jennison was having to play further away from his goal-line and he too was lobbed, however the home faithful were relieved to see the shot bounce off the crossbar.
The final whistle brought an end to our suffering as we headed home. Chan still has a lot to do to lift these boys. Next game at Consett's 3g pitch should be a break from the dire pitches we have had to endure recently so fingers crossed the Bay players enjoy it too.

6.2.15 - NL - Benfield (a)

No Bay games for well over a month and then two arrive in the space of a few days. Gone was the optimism of the previous game but the Boy Mark and I, joined by Coventry Neil, still set off for an afternoon in the East End of Newcastle.
The phrase "Bang goes your mangoes get Martin's windows" made about as much sense as us taking this trip together in the hope of collecting three points.

For starters it looked like Shanks, replaced by new-boy Kane, had paid the price for the defeat on Tuesday night and didn't look like a happy bunny as he took his place on the bench before the game. Lumsden also found himself on the bench as he swapped places with Laws.
For the first few minutes it looked like the switches had inspired the whole team, especially Norris who found himself the freedom of the right wing.
 Chris Youlden blasted over from one of Chuck's pinpoint crosses then, after finding himself some space in the penalty area. Both his shot and rebound were saved.
But when Benfield came into the game, it became a midfield battle on a boggy pitch that just got wetter as the rain continued to fall.

A nice cup of tea!

On the touchline, the dynamic duo shouted their orders as the team worked their socks off.
"Belly! Hole! Tight!"
"Alex! Drop!"
"....Yozza..."
"Nozza...."
I think they were some of the phrases...but as hard as the team worked they didn't seem happy and as they tried to arrange and rearrange the team's positions on the pitch it didn't look like there was going to be anything to show for their efforts.
Jennison, was called into action when Benfield's Taylor bore down on goal. Luckily, he skied his shot. The Bay keeper was soon called into action again and this time saved the Bay after coming on top in a 1 on 1.
With the half-time whistle looming, the Bay had an amazing bit of luck. Youlden's shot seemed to bounce off a Benfield player's backside and loop into the Benfield net.

Half time refreshments and no chip butties at all!

The goal seemed to give Whitley belief in themselves, or was it the dynamic duo's half time team talk?  They dominated the second half. Norris had a game in complete contrast to the one he had against Norton. Although the defence still looked a little shaky, the lads finally looked good going forward.  They were almost rewarded when Bell's shot was saved but Kempster's deft chip was also stopped.
The Bay, however were not to be denied and when Kane rolled the ball calmly across the eighteen yard line, Chuck completed his afternoon with a perfect first-time strike that zipped into the net. Paddy's first reaction was to berate the defence for something or other before finally congratulating Chuck. Is there really no pleasing him?

Riveting
entertainment.

Foalle came on for Kane and the chances continued to come and go, with Kempster forcing the home keeper into a one-handed save. A third goal looked imminent but then the tables were turned when Flynn sliced a cross past Jennison and suddenly the roles were reversed. The Bay were hanging on. The situation was made even more nerve-racking by Neil's constant cries of "this is going to be a goal" whenever Benfield attacked and he was finally told to shut up when he called out "Hand ball!" along with the home management and supporters. Too honest by far that lad!
A certain goal was then cleared off the line by the Bay defence and we breathed again with the home fans screaming the ball was over the line. Into the final minute and another moment of panic as Jennison dropped the ball in the penalty area but luckily he recovered in time. Apart from that scare he had performed well.

At last a victory for Paddy's boys.

On the touchline, Paddy decided to have a go at the ref, instead of the players, as we all waited for the final whistle. A priceless moment came in the very last minute of added time when Paddy barked his instructions to one player at the same time as another player was telling the referee what he thought of his latest decision. The roars of laughter in the stand behind Paddy did not go down well with the Bay supremo. But we thought it was funny.
The relief was tangible as the final whistle blew. Could this give the lads the confidence going into Tuesday's cup game with Morpeth? Only time would tell. It made our afternoon much more enjoyable that's for sure and maybe Paddy's glad we don't often sit behind the dugout. Or maybe he hardly noticed us...

2nd February 2016 - Norton and Stockton Ancients (L)

We were certainly excited to be returning to the field of dreams that is Hillheads.
Since losing to Dunston in the FA Vase in the 21st November, there had only been one home game, against Bedlington Terriers, to enjoy. We had been starved of our heroes and the Hillheads posse.
It appeared the best possible game to set back on the road to climbing the table. Home game against the bottom team, who hadn't won away all season and not won since October 10th...doddle. We were optimistic to say the least...stupid buggers.
The crowd was small but considering there hadn't been a game for so long and that this had been arranged at short notice, that wasn't a surprise. Me and The Boy Mark were on our own as we made the trudge back to the Car Park End - surely even the fact that we were kicking towards our traditional second half end wouldn't upset the proverbial apple cart....?
Early pressure brought both optimism and a corner. There was even time for an unnamed member of the bay team to discuss educational shop with The Boy as we eagerly anticipated its delivery...that had to be a first at a Bay match!
Yet the expected first goal didn't arrive as Youlden, Kempster and Shanks were either foiled by post or keeper. However there hadn't been any blistering shots or piledrivers and Norton's packed defence had coped well with the home team's proddings. A brief fright just before half time set the hearts a-flutter when Jennison was called into action with two great saves to keep out the visitors. However at half time, although things hadn't exactly sparkled on the pitch, there seemed nothing to worry about. The exceptions were: the lack of variety at the Seahorse bar and chocolate at Tommy's Tea Emporium!

Worryingly,
 not attacking the visiting goal!

Into the second half and when Shanks delicately lobbed the keeper, only to see his effort hacked away, it looked like a Bay goal was imminent.
A goal was imminent but not of the home variety. There seemed no danger when Norton picked up a freekick on the right but the ball ended up at the far post where Matty Lovegreen (a hard footballer's name there) knocked it in.
Which was pretty disappointing.
Surely the Bay would be level in a jiffy? Alas no. After successfully weathering a resurgence in the visiting attack, the lads camped out in the visiting defence. Unfortunately the cocky Thackeray in the Norton goal matched all attempts to beat him. There was a good bit of chat as he chose which blade of grass or divet to take his goalkick from but that didn't bother him either. Only surprise captain Callum's shot threatened to muddy the keeper's gloves and as each of the creative players up front were sacrificed: Youlden, Shanks and Kempster it looked like skill was to be replaced by....by....something else.

Oooops I did it again! Miss that is.

It was good to see the return of Craig McFarlane but it will take a while for him to return to his former level of masterly after breaking his leg in April. As the final whistle neared it seemed like no-one on the home side actually wanted to score as Sam Norris' testing of the side netting became the best opportunity to score.
Had we been missing this?

Back home, I perused the programme notes by Paddy and was disappointed to see him criticise players. The phrase about washing dirty underwear in public sprang to mind. Always a rubbish way of motivating people, IMHO, the fact still remains that the Bay have now won only one of the last seven games. You can blame the pitch, players going on holiday and players' motivation but at the end of the day a manager lives by his results. Motivating people is his role and it seems like there doesn't seem to be a lot unity or passion on the pitch at the moment. Whose fault is that I wonder...?

Post script - meeting one of the player's dads whilst out for my Friday sandwich treat, he told me that Paddy hadn't been able to make the match and that the substitutions had done by the assistant, read into that what you will...