7th May 2016 - Durham City (h)

The rest of the country was sweltering in temperatures in the 20s but no surprise...in Whitley Bay we weren't. The sea fret was rolling in so it was winter coats and woolly huts for the loyal fans who couldn't give a monkeys if Newcastle won at Villa or Sunderland beat Chelsea. One of them was going down but considering I had just left a very happy family celebrating Middlesbrough's promotion to the Prem, I wasn't so focussed on the plight of the other Northeast 'giants'.
There was none bigger than the Bay of course, even though their place in the Ebac Northern League Division 1 was secure. Today's match against Durham City would go some way to determining whether the visitors could escape relegation themselves and in the process relegate West Allotment.
In a similar fashion to the previous game against Jarrow, the first half lacked excitement as the ball pinged about midfield. Great as it was to see the pairing of Haley and Prosser in the middle, the Bay were lacking that final pass. In fact if it hadn't been for a pink-shirted Flynn's last ditch safe with an outstretched arm, City would have been ahead. The Bay's reply was a Munroe header and blocked follow-up.
All of this didn't impress our West Allotment buddies who were hoping to see Whitley do them a favour. In fact Long-Haired Andrew's son kept complaining about how cold it was at the coast, how he would have preferred to have watched the cricket game being played out on the other side of the ice rink. For once we were confident that things would come good. It didn't start well when Flynn brought down a Durham forward who would have been through on goal. We feared the worst when the ref pulled out a red card with his notebook. Thankfully, he was only given a yellow.
Six minutes later, the industrious Haley unleashed a shot that took a couple of deflections before it drifted over Jennison's head and into the net. He was not amused. For the first time I noticed that it was our former hero in goal. The same man who had helped the Bay beat Matlock in that famous penalty shoot-out amongst other heroic acts. Did we show him the slightest bit of gratitude? Not on your Nelly. The former Bay number one went into tantrum mode as he bellowed at his defence: thus losing our sympathy.

Shanks 2-0....wait for the tantrum!

Next up, it was the Shankster, who latched onto Kempster's cross, volleying the ball into the ground and over Mr Hissyfit. Long-haired was chuffed to bits. So were the members of the West Allotment committee who he spotted leaving the old stand making their intentions clear as they headed to the bar. Nice to be of service I told them.
The Bulgarian Bulldog, Ivanov then stormed into the penalty area but his shot drifted wide.

Feeling confident, Chandler withdrew Shanksy to let Gladstone join in the fun up front. Was Gladstone looking to score against the man who had kept him on the bench? That would probably have sent Jennison over the top. As it was another Supermac thunderbolt saw Jennison through the bottle out...literally.
With two minutes left Supermac's shot finished off the scoring and sadly ended Durham's spell in the First division. Dilly Ding Dilly Dong! Four cracking goals. #Getinthebag!
Nice to help out West Allotment...you are welcome!

5th May 2016 - Jarrow Roofing

The return of the prodigal son, in the form of Paul 'FA Vase' Chow, had been forgotten by our little band as we sat in the Seahorse dissecting the defeat at Marske. The bar staff seemed slightly bemused that we were not big fans of Mr Fitness coach Dave Berry as he was the sort of bloke who would run through a brick wall for a game or play on with a broken leg. Apparently he once did the Great North Run with a broken toe. We didn't doubt his commitment as this was evident since he had turned up to help the first team out despite not quite being as quick or as skillful as the rest. He had also battled on despite Marske's gouge-gate! So in his honour this blog will be renamed:

Berry-Watch

(If only to make sure the lads at the bar still keep serving and avoiding meeting any angry dave or his Berryfans on the streets of the Bay).

Can't put an old head
on young shoulders?

The first half was a whirlwind of Berry's tricks, close control and beard. Time and again he broke up the Jarrow defence before launching a range of killer balls that Shanks and Patton were just not clever enough to anticipate. If they had been on their game in the first half then the Bay would have been out of sight. Jarrow managed to outfox DB to find Chow, who shot through Flynn's legs in goal but luckily the ball was cleared before it crossed the line. It seemed like Jarrow were doing their best to confuse Dave and the Bay defence by having most of their players copy Paul Chow's close cropped locks. Once again they managed to outwit DB and this time a bald-headed player...could have been Alex White or Shaun Vipond....curled a brilliant shot past Flynn's left hand post. It was the sort of effort that Dave would have scored with ease if he had been up front. As it was we were stuck with 40-goal Shanks. There were occasions when Kempo, Shanksy and Pattercake managed to bear down on goal but lacked the experience of Dave and their efforts came to nought. 

As occasionally happens, despite the excitement of the play on offer we drifted away and started a heated dispute with Barry 'the legend' about Chowie. We maintained he left because he was getting on a bit and we needed some younger blood up front. Barry was adamant that he was pushed out because of the Sith Lord Atkinson and his devotion to the Dark Side. Neither side was giving in and so 'the legend' left muttering his dissatisfaction. There is no doubt Chow is a Bay legend but after the great days of the Vase runs, we needed some fresh blood and that meant saying goodbye to the likes of Chow, Robinson and Kerr. All great players but ones that needed a new challenge that they weren't getting at Hillheads. His goal against Wroxham at Wembley is one of my proudest moments as a Bay fan, along with the runs to the finals. A case of "So long and thanks for the memories..."

There was still time before our favourite ref, Lyndsey blew for half time for a Dave Berry sweet left foot moment. There was also a scare as Jarrow managed to outfox the old fox himself. Bearing down on an unprotected Flynn, a probably-bald-Jarrow-player-who-was-not-Chow slipped the ball past the stranded Bay number one. Luckily, the ball was once again cleared to keep the score goalless at half time.

SuperMac!

The sunny weather that had welcomed the 178 fans had vanished by the time the players returned to the field and the mood amongst the fans turned to rage as we realised our hero would not be returning to the fray! DB had been subbed. Also gone was our Bulgarian Brute who had looked tidy in the first half. On came Marilyn Munroe (sorry best I could do) and Scottie Prosser. Almost straight away the Bay were behind: a fantastic lob drifted inside Flynn's right hand post. DB was a miss but the team would have to pick themselves up... Sure enough, six minutes later SuperMac (Donald) unleashed a serweet shot that had Lee Burrell, in the Roofing goal, reaching for a new set of tiles as it nestled in the roof of the net. SuperMac repeated the trick soon after, scoring from a tight angle to send all five of us wild (Bob and Moira had arrived after voting: poetic licence to get the council elections in).

Adoring fans get their reward!

As we waited for a corner to be taken, Moira shouted out to a momentarily distracted Shankster "Who's going to score the next goal?" as our search for excitement showed no sign of being quenched. The modest 40-goal man replied "Me!" and sure enough he came up with the goods. A tussle with ex-Whitley defender Laws ended in a Shanks triumph and goal as he rolled the ball past Burrell. It was good to note he didn't forget his adoring fans as he gave us the thumbs up. 

Back came the Roofers and it was Chow who glanced a header past Flynn to continue the excitement that had been so lacking in the first half. But still there was more as the lively and unlucky 'General' Patton's shot was saved only for Kempster 'the sniffer' to lash the ball into the net. 

Our excitement was tempered slightly by the fact that the direct door to the car park was locked so we had to undertake the arduous and potentially dangerous trek from the main gates, round the Scout hut to the waiting car. Luckily we floated our way there: the Bay were saving the best 'til last!

Goodnight Hillheads!

30th April 2016 Marske United (a)

The day started with sunshine for my early morning Park Run then hailstones raining down on Tyneside as the Boy Mark picked me and Woodie for the 45 minute drive to Marske (we were in denial - the 45 minute drive rule still applied).
The increasing injury list and fatigued state of the squad after another four-game week combined with the number of cup-tied players (about five at last reckoning) to leave a thread-bare squad. As a result, the travelling Bay fans were to be treated to the delights of David 'Chuck' Berry - Mr Body Perfect himself in midfield!
One day I would love to see Andy Robertson returning to the Bay first team but his quest for reserve team goals meant he was yet again playing for the reserves (or rather not as their game was called off at the last minute) so we had 'Chuck' instead...

Sunshine....but no cheer!

Callum Anderson's appearance lasted the blink of an eye as he was swiftly substituted through injury so it looked like it would be a long day. Although Dave Berry worked hard and his heading was a great help to the team, his lack of match fitness meant he was always struggling against the home attack who had the ball in the net almost straight away. Thankfully ruled offside, it was an omen and soon Reace Kelly scored a legitimate, deftly chipped goal after a mix-up in the Bay defence.

Marske ultras with their terrifying
 "Sea-sea-sea-siders!" chant.

Anderson's replacement was Bulgarian superstar Nikolay Ivanov and as he began to settle showed glimpses of neat passing. Woodie wondered if he knew what the rest of the team were saying to him cause of his constantly bemused expression. But weather the Marske storm the Bay did and once McDonald had taken charge of the freekicks the lads were looking far more threatening up front.
Fearing a soaking or hail-stoning from the ominous-looking clouds, we had decided to stand in one of the cow sheds at the side of the pitch but as the Marske Ultras began their chants of "Sea-sea-sea-siders!" we decided to escape from their clutches and head behind the goal...under the guarantee that if we got wet...or hailstoned..the other two could blame me for their discomfort. Sure enough, as we took our usual place behind the goal the rain began; to which I told the others to "Man up!"
We were rewarded when Alex Kempster kept on his feet despite being tripped and the Bay were awarded a penalty. Our nerves were all on edge as Shanks stepped up to take it...the memory of his miss against Dunston still raw.

The Shankster, thankfully, stepped up and blasted it high to the keeper's left: his 40th of the season. The scratch team were level!
The Bay then surged forward with increased confidence. If Mr Bay himself, Barry had been a bit quicker fetching the ball for Chris Mac to take a corner then there might have been a surprise lead while the home team got organised. However, at half time we were very pleased, to be on level terms.

 A quick trip to the portacabin just outside the ground, we were treated to a cup of tea or coffee in a real mug, all for the price of an honesty box donation. There was no licence for the premises, so no alcohol, but there was a television with half time scores and comfortable seats. On the other side of the room was the great and the good of the Bay - with their own box of biscuits but it was good to see everyone in the same room together: enjoying a nice cup of tea!

Sing in the Chicken Run!

Taking our spot behind the goal, I was delighted to return the ball to the Marske keeper with a deft half volleyed chipped ball which, if it had been seen by Chan, might have meant a spot on our dilapidated bench for me. As it was, our own Chuck Berry had to be substituted after being poked in the eye. Despite this setback the Bay were still fighting and the game was flowing from end to end. The well-groomed but noisy keeper , James Brigg in the home goal, was getting more and more irate as Ivanov, 'the Bulgarian Brute', in particular was showing much more confidence. However, eventually the lads' legs tired and with 13 minutes left, a goal from Marske's Jamie Owens put the home side ahead. Six minutes later the tie was finished as a contest after a rebound was turned in.

Leaving with heads held high. 

The lads had done their best and put up a heroic fight: every one of them. The number of games played and the growing injury list had put paid to that. If Chan can be convinced to stay next season with the majority of the present team then we have the makings of a top team. However, he has to be given the tools to do the job in the same way that Paddy had been. One of the top priorities has to be to make sure that the first team has the best players playing for them and avoid the situation whereby players prefer to play for the reserves. If they can do this then the future looks brighter than it has since the Vase wins: 5 years ago!
#htb

26th April 2016 - West Allotment Celtic (h)

Spot the fan?

Arriving at the ground,  there were no programmes to be had (or evidence that there had been any) while the crowd looked apologetically small and lacking in atmosphere. My count of 130 turned out to be 20 less than the official 152 - the rest probably being in the bar. I must admit the number of games was wearing on me as a home supporter..never mind those who had travelled home and away.... as well as the players. The defeats in the last two home games may also have had an effect on the crowd as well as the cold. The Boy Mark and Woodie were already positioned under the shelter of the 'Vase stand' as the rain began to hammer down to add to the slightly less-than-vibrant mood. The people who had stayed at home watching Man City take on Real Madrid in the Champions' League made me feel quite jealous although they would miss out on the chance to enjoy a cup of tea, cola bottle and perhaps a kitkat at half time!
I was disappointed again to see no Robertson but it looked like Patton and Shanks were beginning to form a good understanding. I might start calling Patton 'The General' if he stays long enough and starts directing play from on top of a Sherman tank...or maybe George S.

Woodie tried to convince us of his lateest conspiracy theory that the game would end 1-1 as both teams only needed a draw to avoid relegation. The way the Bay started though seemed to disprove this theory as the Shankster exquisitely lobbed the hairy beast Wells in the Celtic goal: who was not happy, obviously.

A different view of the ground...needed the loo!

However, Celtic came back into the game and we needed Gladstone to be on his metal to keep the visitors out.
When Celtic's Paul Kane scored a lucky 25 yard-floating-drifting-cross-shot Woodie looked extremely smug, though disappointed to see the Bay level. In truth the game had been drifting slightly as the boys tired. Our own levels of concentration waned and the conversation actually drifted away from the match onto the new series of Game of Thrones and then onto how it was a worm's fault if he got stood on. The Boy Mark claimed it would be a form of natural selection if a worm was squashed whilst wriggling across the terracing. I was shocked and wondered whether if a zombie apocalypse arrived, would we get zombie worms...?

Shanksy's elbow celebrates....

Thankfully, the Bay managed to up the pace to distract us from this terrible conundrum. As the ball drifted across the goal, Shanks was on hand to slip the ball in from the tightest of angles. A cracking strike and completely unexpected. Celtic hearts were broken and soon after Ash Davis provided a cross, after his own determined, and unexpected, work. This bounced in off the knee of the Kempstervator who looked extremely embarrassed to have scored. The Bay were staying up and Woodie was very happy to have been proved wrong.

Knee problem scoring for the Kempstervator!

As Callum's relation (maybe) once said: "In case of doubt, attack."
Thanks for that General!
Next stop - Marske United and the League Cup Semi-final!

19th and 23rd April 2016 - Dunston UTS (h) and Sunderland RCA (h)

Dunston

Two wins in the past two games had been followed by three postponements as the Spring weather continued to be rubbish. Finally the wind and rain let up enough to allow football to return to Hillheads. Disappointingly, Washington hat-trick hero Andy Robertson was missing from the starting line-up, preferring to add to his goals total the following day with the reserves as they took on Blyth in the Northumberland Cup Final. Into his place, stepped 22-year old Callum Patton for his fourth game of the season since joining from Morpeth. The first warning that the evening might not go as well as hoped was when Whitley lost the toss and had to attack the car park end in the first half. Understanding why we never did as well kicking this way was certainly a job for Mulder and Scully.

The perfect response to Dunston hitting Whitley's post early on was for the Shankster to round Dunston's Liam O'Connell in goal and score. For the first 23 minutes it looked like the performance in the League Cup was to be repeated. Then Dunston scored. Fifteen minutes later the Bay were 3-1 down. However, two Fowler corners were turned in by Shankster to complete his hat-trick. O'Connell suddenly became more and more irate and kept shouting instructions to Dunston's Steve Bowey. He responded well every time the four of us behind the goal repeated his calls of "Bowzer...Bowzer."

Half time arrived and the score was 3-3 - the 197 who had preferred to watch the Bay instead of the Toon's game at home to Manchester City, were rewarded with the first half's excitement. We were quite chipper as we enjoyed our cups of tea/bovril and giant cola bottles, courtesy of Tommy's tea emporium. 

A quiet start to the second half erupted when Patton was disgracefully upended. Of course O'Connell and Bowzer didn't agree.

Unfortunately, the Shanksy's kick didn't give us the lead and worse was to follow when a Tom Flynn slip allowed Bowzer a simple header to score into the unguarded net. A fifth goal for the visitors sealed the win. We hadn't seen that coming and relegation was still a possibility. A home game. Elsewhere Newcastle had come from behind to draw 1-1 with Champions' League Semi-finalists Manchester city. I certainly know which game I would have preferred to be at, despite the result.

Sunderland RCA

A point today would end Whitley's relegation worries and in our first Saturday home game in well over a month it looked like Kempster's shot from a saved Callum Monroe shot had done the trick. However Whitley's thread-bare and knackered squad tired in the second half after playing 11 games in three weeks. Sunderland scored a tap-in with just over 16 minutes left and a winner in the final minutes of the game. The state of the squad had reached such a level that keeper Flynn had had to be brought on as an outfield substitute player.

The Bell!

Still, 192 souls had turned up to see if the lads could grab that last point needed, ignoring the draw of NUFC's match at Liverpool. Certainly any of the Newcastle players who had played at Anfield (and recovered from being 2-0 down to draw 2-2) had no right to complain about too many fixtures. Four games in a week for the Bay made the big boys from the big Toon look like Walter and the Softies. #Nonleaguetoughlads