28th October 2017 - Newton Aycliffe (H)

The morning started on a particularly blowy Whitley Bay Links, with my good running bud Ash,. I pleased to finish 42nd out of 208 hardy souls in my 50th parkrun. For this occasion, I thought it was only fitting that I wore a Bay shirt, although the Kinnon, who was kindly doing a marshalling job, complained that he was wearing his Bay shirt and that we would both look silly in the same shirt. However, the fact that his was covered by ten layers of clothing meant I wasn't too concerned at losing whatever cred I had.
The blowy theme carried on throughout the day as our three chickens, Clucky, Flappy and Eggy (Pop) were blown backwards and forwards in our back garden. The idea that we might end up watching a great game of football that afternoon seemed bleak.

Windy!

I was excited to pick up my previously ordered Bay hoodie, that Doug at the club shop had kindly ordered. Finally, fans could buy a wider range of team gear. Let's hope it becomes a good money spinner for the club which the Supporters Club have admirably filled! Today, I was certainly going to need its fleece lining!
 Memories of previous battles against Aycliffe were still fresh, but this was a new team. Change had followed the sacking of the previous manager, Peter Dixon, after some of his players had forced their way into visitors, Morpeth Town's dressing room nearly a year ago. This had followed their 3-2  FA Vase defeat to the then-holders and ended up with a number of the players following their manager out of the door.
The opposition that took the field were adorned in a rather unusual purple Joma (everyone's wearing them apparently) affair that reminded Mr NUFC (whoever they are), Mad Mick, of a very Deep Purple. Cue rendition of Smoke on the Water: "Dur dur dur, dur dur durdur dur." There was a brief discussion as to how it should be written: I preferred the "Bow wow wow, bow, wow wowwow" wah wah peddle version but each to their own. This lasted until the first argument between the visiting players. James Oliver told Paul Welson that he had to "Do what I £$%@ing say!". Chances of an on-pitch punch looked high as they shouted at each other. The windy that swirled once more around us wasn't helping them stay calm.

There was shock and costernation for yours truly when an Aycliffe clearance was aimed straight at the Bay Tricoleur: it was a good job Thibault wasn't there as he would have gone off it! There was worse to follow when the ball flew back to a nearby defender who kicked at straight back at yours truly! I was man enough not to let it bother me but Mr T (ricoleur) was not happy at being reduced to hanging from only three corners. Thankfully, the damage was rectified soon after. However, Mr T and I demanded revenge!

Jasper takes team spirit a bit too far?

Soon after; the Bay scored. A neat pass by Cornish from the byline found Potter in space. His wizard finish was perfectly placed and the magical one had handed out "Justice for the Flag" .
Unfortunately the justice didn't last long. A Bay defender's slip was followed by an exquisite rocket from visiting Stuart Banks that went in off Lister's right hand post.
Justice had lasted barely two minutes.
The wind was certainly making life hard for both sides and with half time approaching there was a low flying UFO that raced across the pitch before crashing into the fencing at the Allotment End. Some poor soul had lost their birthday balloon!

The constant shouting of Aycliffe keeper, James Winter, and his defenders certainly showed they were getting stressed. I have no idea what a "Backward squeeze" is but I'm sure I don't want to know. Even so, despite the bawling at each other, the visitors were beginning to take a stronger grip on the game and Dr Lister on the Whitley goal was having to pull out all the saves; the best of which was an athletically-leaping-one-handed-tip-over-the-top-of his-right-hand-post. His bar was also rattled to add to everyone's nervous disposition.
With just under 20 minutes left Jasper stole the ball from Aycliffe's Aaron Brown and bore down on the visiting goal. The home fans in the 299 crowd roared him on but Brown, who had just been telling his team-mates to keep calm, dragged him back. As last man, he was rightly sent off and from then on, the game was one of cat-and-mouse. Aycliffe defended on en masse and broke quickly. Although there was plenty of effort from the home side, it was not to be and the game finished 1-1. The wind had won!

Relaxing in the Blogger house library with the match programme.

The only winners seemed to be the Whitley Bay Cap Gang: four lads, all adorned in their Bay caps were thrilled to have Jasper, who had been out of luck that afternoon, sign their caps! Well done that man!
Picture courtesy of Whitley Bay FC Twitter

21st October 2017 - Westella and Wellerby A (FAV - 1)

How excited can you get? It was the FA Vase away to both Westella and Willerby…and a trip on the team bus. Having been brought up on the Superstars of Newcastle United, it never ceases to amaze me how refreshing it is in non-league football that the players and supporters are so close. The close proximity to visiting players avoids the recently seen stupidity of grown men carrying children while they try to punch visiting players, Everton v Lyon in the Europa League, because the two groups are not separated by money or ego. There are egos in non-league footie but there are so many more decent players and fans who just love the sport as well as their club. Today’s trip seemed totally bizarre all the same; I suppose it’s like children realising that their teachers don’t actually sleep at school and have a life of their own. Footballers are human beings too: whether they are amateur or professional and as I was to find out, the Bay players are a great set of lads but they certainly didn’t see themselves better than the rest of us.

The sun was shining as the supporters’ bus set off for Hull and despite the warnings about Brianstorm, Whitley Bay was having a good morning. Nashy was wearing his new trainers and he said that some of the injuries were clearing up after a troublesome week with two defeats and more injuries.

The mood was upbeat and confident despite recent results. The team bus fell into four separate sections:

1 the old guard at the front,

2 the team at the back

3 a front-rear section of myself, the Kempster Support Unit, Darren Kitman and Jake ‘Magic Hands’ WBTV fame

4 a rear-front section that allowed Mr Chairman to have his own space with his Telegraph newspaper.

The trip itself was uneventful and quick so we were soon, a little bit over 45 minutes I think, making our way up a dirt track. There was a brief Mexican standoff with a red Fiesta that didn’t seem to want to let the coach park anywhere but our much bigger bus finally won. We parked up with instructions to “Let the players off first” which gave us the chance to wish them all luck. 

Great flag: well done lads: remember shoelaces and clips!

There was a newcomer to the Whitley Bay flag of the year award that I had awarded myself last year but the lads in charge of it hadn’t thought through how they were going to attach it. They had brought cable ties, which were not able to stretch around the large concrete posts. Luckily, I was on hand to share my experience of flag erection (shoe laces and carabina clips). There was also a handy sign advertising the bar upstairs to help anchor their flag.

The ground itself had some interesting features:

An ornate hand towel in the men's toilets that sadly lacked any towel.

 An extremely comfortable, if a little breezy, al fresco balcony.

A well-stocked bar that included all the essentials you need in life: alcohol, chips and sausages.

Inspirational poster

Aforementioned balcony for the great and good of Whitley society to look down upon the Hoi Poloi.

Mr WBTV had managed to get himself set up on the luxury veranda and made use of an extremely stylish ASDA carrier bag to protect his wares from the element. However, I realised that the veranda was not for the likes of me as the wind blew my nearly-finished pint over the extremely stylish B and Q plastic table. I was a pleb and my place was by the pitch’s edge.

The team took to the pitch in a positive manner. Still without Haley, Thibault and Flynn there was a return for Callum Anderson and a well-deserved start for Matty Cornish after his recent roles as supersub.

However, there was a shock in store as a scramble in the box ended with the ball being hooked over the grounded Lister. “Foul” we cried but to no avail. The bald-headed linesman had given the goal.

Dan was then called into a superb double save as he beat out a shot from the edge of the box then had to leap up to deny another long-distance effort. This didn’t look good. My mate, Fletch, from my school days who lives in Hull, was afraid of becoming the sacrificial scapegoat for any shock result but suddenly the lads woke up. Jasper stung the opposition when he latched onto Kempster’s super cross to make it 1-1. Then it was Josh’s turn to strike and give the Bay the lead.

Wahey!

There was a moment of panic when a supremely confident shout in the Bay penalty by a defender resulted in the ball bouncing over his head. Luckily, Lister was on hand to snatch the loose ball. The ball was quickly delivered forward and it was Kempo, again, who came up with a salsa shuffle, with extra chilli, before slotting home number three: 3-1.

Next up, the normally unflappable Professor Wilko, reacted to a set of studs down his calf and the opposition number 10 threw himself to the floor, in a tremendously dramatically fashion. The ref waved a card at the grounded actor and we breathed a sigh of relief.

Fletch was extremely impressed with the Professor, who he likened to a cross between Treebeard and a man-mountain. Either way the home forwards were to find no way round him.

Peter Glen-Ravenhill was to provide the icing on the cake when his freekick from near the halfway line was picked up by Brianstorm and beyond the fed-up home keeper: 4-1.

At half time Brianstorm picked up pace and it became obvious that there would not be a repeat of the goal action we had just witnessed.

Brianstorm breezes in!

The second half play was a struggle against the elements and when Matty Cornish was withdrawn for an extra forward we realised that in these conditions, a midfield was not needed. The big boot was the order of the day. Nashy's master stroke worked and with Robo on for Jasper and Brooksy for Cornish the chances followed as the ball held up for the oncoming waves of Bay forwards. 

At the other end, Mister Lister had to be on his toes as his goal was subjected to an aerial bombardment. He tipped over two successive efforts but the final word belonged to Potter who kept his cool to score a late penalty: 5-1. The bay were into the second round!

A quick bit of food for the lads in the bar....

 ...and a chance to err...mingle with the opposition team...then it was off to Tesco to stock up on liquid refreshment. The journey home featured the initiation of new boy Chris Salmon, who couldn't play because he was cup-tied. His version of a Rick Astley classic into a banana was very entertaining. Preceding this, Mr WBTV performed more magic and the lads lapped it up. 

All in all a great day out and a lucky escape from Brianstorm. Hawaythebay.

Chances of a return here to play Hall Road Rangers in the next round? Their win at Ashington made this a possibility.

Tuesdays 3rd and 10th October - Washington and Ryhope CW (H)

A Tale of Two Tuesdays

Our tales are in stark contrast but could have ended up the same way, if not worse! They both started with a similar standard of Bay play but luck played its merry dance in different ways.

Washington

We begin our first, a sorry tale, on an average Tuesday night in a little town on the northeast coast. Twas a crispy, chilly evening and a lonely French Tricoleur billowed in the wind that whipped about the hardened locals who had come to witness the might of the Bay take on their lowly visitors from Washingtonshire.
These brave souls however were, 47 seconds into the game, shocked by former Knight of the Bay Robbie Williams-on reneging on his promise to 'offer protection' (gratifications Kinnon), as he put the lowly visitors 1-0 up. Unfortunately, your lowly storyteller was too busy admiring the piles of crisp autumn leaves to spot the action so I can offer no more tragic details beyond the stark facts: the Bay were losing 1-0.
The tale for the next 90 minutes was to be one of unrequited love and revenge. The visiting goalkeeper, Dan Gladstone was returning to the club where he was almost always the goalkeeping bridesmaid. For the next 90 minutes, he pounced, stretched and leaped to keep out the Whitley attacks; frustrating the home faithful.
Those self-same faithful sought solace in sustenance and thus was born: PIE CLUB!

The first rule of PIE CLUB is: don't talk about PIE CLUB!
The second rule of PIE CLUB is: Kinnon gets them.
Thus the faithful devoted themselves to their pies and chips (with gravy of course) as the traitorous Gladstone performed his dastardly best. Their strength gradually sapped away until the closing minutes when the chink in Gladstone's armour was finally exploited.
A snatched shot from Sir Aidan of Haley whipped through a crowd of defending knights and The Gladstone saw the blow late. He managed to palm it away only for Sir Scott 'the Wasp' Jasper to slide in to score.

The faithful cheered their brave combatants on but The Gladstone was not to be breached twice. A draw the honourable result!

The sad remains from PIE CLUB!

On the way back to my mud hovel, I was honoured to meet Sir Baldie of the Bruce who offered his one rule for PIE CLUB: thick crusts! Who was I to argue?

Ryhope CW

Our second tale is one of glorious victory after unprecedented trials and tribulations. The Bay had been denied two of their most formidable warriors: Tom of the Flynn and the Gaelic Giant Thibault of Paris. Both had been wounded in the proud 2-0 victory over the Seaham clan. Their wounds were to deprive the Bay of their heroes for many weeks. The faithful were worried. From over the waters rode the noble Sir Dan the Lister to aid our cause. We had called and he had answered: hoorah!
On arrival, there was the sight of one of the Ryhopian warriors complete in his playing regalia stocking up on supplies at the local burger hostelry. Whether he was stocking up on carbohydrates or trying to join PIE CLUB was not our place to guess but we hoped that it would slow down his team.
However, instead those who had climbed or descended the big Hillheads grew more and more fearful as Sir Dan was called upon to perform his acrobatics time after time.
With just over half an hour gone, the visiting warriors made the mistake of beating Sir Dan only to hit the bar. This simple act awoke the raging beast that was Sir Peter Glen of Ravenhill. He had had enough and when the ball was headed across goal, Sir Peter roared that it was his and slammed home from 15 English yards. The relief around the playing arena was palpable!

The Bay beast was suddenly roaring! A few minutes later the Bay peasants were cheering their heroes again when Sir Kyle of the Patton curled a shot goalwards only for it to be directed into the net by a hapless defender. 

 At the interval, the good people of the Bay were able to refresh themselves with their chest puffed up by the two strikes that had been completely against the run of play!

Oi! Peasants! Buy our tasty tomato soup!
The Bay's rich merchants peddle their wares!

Into the second passage of play and Sir Peter-Glen of Ravenhill was still raging and it was he who put the goal count to 3-0 with the Merlin-like Potter crossing for Sir Peter to slot home.
Soon after the visiting dastardly Daniel Lay of Ryhopeshire laid out Sir Jasper with an atrocious tackle that forced him to sadly retire to the medical tent. Dastardly Dan, for his part, sought forgiveness in the local monastery.
The extra man advantage allowed the Bay to go nap. First Sir Kyle of the Patton backhealed into the visiting net...

 ...then it was Liam of the Brooks' turn to meet a delightful chip from superiorsub Sir Matthew of the Cornish: 5-0.

There was more wondrous skill from the south-western man as the Cornish jinked his way past keeper and defenders. Unfortunately, his shot bounced off the post. Thankfully man of the moment Sir Peter slid bravely in to score! He would be able to quoff his hat in public after that three-goal trick!

6-0!
If you had asked the visiting goal defender, Johnny Ball to 'think of a number' of goals he'd concede,  he certainly wouldn't have chosen seven but that was exactly what happened. Matty of the Cornish thrilled the peasants once more before blasting home the final goal.

The mood leaving the ground was in complete contrast to that of the previous week: it certainly had been a Tale of Two Tuesdays!

NB: I wish to forget the following match at home to West Auckland so the next blog will be direct from the TEAM BUS as I journey the 44+ a little bit to Westella and Willerby! Very excited. #HawaytheBay!

Saturday 30th September - Ashington (h)

Courtesy of Julian Tyley

The trip to the ground started with a meeting with my 'number one fan', Baldie Bruce, who was collecting money for his forthcoming sponsored bike ride from Cambodia to Vietnam to raise funds for the charity Smile for Life which works with disadvantaged and disabled young people in the North East.
For more information see:
 http://www.smileforlife.org.uk/
The man himself is always quick to complement me on the blog and I will never let him forget his description of the blog as "short enough to avoid being boring".
Praise indeed from the follicly challenged one. Good luck on the ride, mate!
With regards the match itself, today's opponents, Ashington were the veritable bogey team for the Bay. The previous year, Harmison's boys had stuffed the Bay 5-1 and I had forgotten the last time the Bay managed to overcome the visitors. This lack of success had obviously been felt by the lads as they tore into the visitors. Kempster, on the left wing was finding acres of space and made the most of it. So it was, after the lively Brooks had been denied and Robo had shot just wide, that Kempo came up with the goods.
In acres of space, he slid the ball towards Robo but both the Bay forward and the Ashington defender keeping him company failed to make contact. So too did the Ashington keeper and the ball bounced untroubled into his net. Which was very nice of him.

The only worry for the home fans was when the Ashington number nine collapsed under a challenge from Callum A. The Bay defender looked to be giving his opposite number a hand up and a word of consolation but the visitor didn't seem to take it that way and the next thing we knew there was a push and shove that looked like it could get wuff. Thankfully there was no bookings and the pair seemed to be best of friends...after the game.
  For the rest of the half, the Bay battered Ashington but failed to extend the score so were disappointed to only be 1-0 up at the break.
The majority of the second half is one that Bay fans will want to forget as Ashington turned everything on its head. With four minutes gone, a game of ping pong was ended by Ashington's #3 whose pinpoint shot beat Flynn: who had initially beaten out the first shot. Worse was to follow. The second Bob The Sage had uttered the immortal words "Whitley don't look like they've got going. Ashington were 2-1 up and looking good value for their lead.

Wet work for a break-dancing Thibault

The Bay really shouldn't have come out for the second half as the normally dependable Flynn sliced his clearance into touch when he had been aiming to set the Bay attack away through the middle. Had something been slipped into the lads' half-time hot chocolate? Whipped cream? Marshmallows....when Nash and Woodie had been formulating their masterplan?
It looked to be all over before Flynn came to the Bay's rescue with a fingertip save against Ben Harmison then followed it up with a one-hander to keep the Bay in the game.
The rain that had stotted down in the middle of the half created a double rainbow and most of the home fans probably wished they could have gone looking for pots of gold instead of remaining at the ground but at least the rainbows acted as a distraction, as many, myself included, looked to take the best rainbow pic. My entry is below:

The brave bay fans take cover....

....on both sides of the pitch.

The rain finally stopped and suddenly the Ashington defence were on the back foot thanks to the introduction of supersubs Cornish and KP.

Deep into stoppage time, after The Prof had been pushed forward to help the attack, there was indeed a pot of gold for the home fans. The ball bounced across the six yard box and Kyle Patton slid in between a pair of Ashington boots to score, picking up a couple of kicks in the face for his bravery. #bravery
Final score 2-2 and a big sigh of relief for the home fans.

Tuesday 26th September 2017 (Billingham Synthonia (H) - FA Vase 2QR

The replay arrived on a particularly foggy night in the NorthEast. Sunderland RCA v Morpeth would eventually fall foul of the weather and as the Boy Mark and I drove up Hillheads the mist seemed to be hanging around the top of the hill and the ground. First thoughts naturally were how long into the game would we get before it was called off and therefore was there a set time to play before the club had to refund your exorbitant £6 entry fee. Thankfully by kickoff the fog had cleared enough for us to see the far end of the pitch so the game got underway: despite Moira moaning about not being able to see Flynn in the Bay goal. I told her that would be an advantage because he would be able to pop up and surprise the Billingham forwards like a Ninja but she wasn't convinced. Thankfully it was the Bay who were making the running so most of the play was within range of our rapidly failing eyesight: whether that was through age or meteoric conditions. The breakthrough arrived in the 17th minute when the lively Robo was hacked down mercilessly. The fans behind the goal were busy organising a whip-round to look after his family when the brave trooper managed to heroically get to his feet. (Creative licence from the Kinster-Boy.) 

Up stepped the mercurial Potter who, after a tense few moments of hush, calmly slotted the ball down the middle: keeper Beblowski dived to his left. 1-0 the Bay. It was Thibault's turn to take aim next but his shot low to the keeper's left was palmed desperately away. Beblowski the hit a purple patch as he denied Thibault and Robo so there were still nerves aplenty at the break.

The second half had not long started when the Bay were 2-0 up. It was a gem from Jack 'there's only one' Walker, picking up the ball on the edge of the box before drilling it high into the net from the edge of the penalty area. We could start dreaming of a glorious trip to Humberside (or East Yorkshire as I was told by a resident to call it).

Bedlam ensued!

 Kempo was in the wars soon after when he was stood on by a Synner. We feared the worst when the red mist descended and he reacted by pushing the visitor away but thankfully, the ref saw sense he wasn't sent off or booked. 

The game carried on. However, as per usual, the conversation drifted. It was the Kinster (like Ginster but with less meat pie) who regalled us with his tales of an away friendly trip to Glossop which involved: a bike falling off a car, lots of alcohol, an altercation by a pool table followed by a 20-piece bucket of MacyD chicken nuggets that he missed out on. 

Lads! Lads! Lads! And Moira.

We managed to switch back to the game in time to see Kyle Patton completely miss an overhead kick that would have been a goal of the season if it had connected. However, the conversation then returned back to the Kinster who declared his dislike for both Nandos (an expensive KFC) and the Lad Bible website (poorly written banter for the overbantered section of the Nando-eating banter community). Never short of an opinion that one; although I am partial to a cheeky Nandos (Kinster probably dislikes the word cheeky too).

The game was over a contest soon after when birthday boy, Matty Cornish came off the bench to send a great cross from Kempo high into the net with an outstretched-right-footed-half-volley-could-have-been-a-volley-type-shot. Marvellous stuff and a happy birthday present for him!

Celebrations in the mist

Thibault almost scored a wonderful overhead kick but his effort sailed over the bar. There was great merriment at the final whistle: we had reached the first round proper!

The dream trip was on! 3-0 to the Bay was the final score. Soon after, though, the realisation dawned that Westalla and Willerby represented a drive of more than 45 minutes...even if the Boy Mark drove like the clappers. Watch this space!