26th December 2016 - West Allotment Celtic (h)

Bossyboots!

The day started with the job of marshalling on the course of the Woodlawn Pudding Run where 900+ runners (fun and otherwise) donned fancy dress (some of them) to raise money for Woodlawn School in Monkseaton. After directing various runners/Christmas puddings / reindeer / Santas / Elves...etc it was a race home to pick up Mrs Bay-Blogger (hyphenated cause she's posh) who was coming for her traditional Boxing Day visit to the Bay. Managing to get in with time to spare, I finish downing a turkey / stuffing / sausage sandwich lovingly prepared by my youngest (for herself and then given to me because she couldn't manage the number she'd made).
My pre-match Boxing Day selfie was censored because Mrs Bay-Blogger had her eyes closed but it was good to have her opinion on the match. Her first insight into the world of Northern League football was that the Celtic keeper, Chris Bannon, was a "bit of a bossyboots": she certainly didn't pull any punches!

A crisp but blowy Boxing Day!

Just as I was noting down her analysis, Celtic scored. Mrs B-B informed me that "it was a corner that was headed back across and was possibly headed in". The perfect analysis...she pays more attention than I do...for once I didn't have to ask Mr Twitter what happened. For the record it was Liam Hudson who did indeed head home.

Return if the Bay bell!

1-0 down after five minutes made Mrs B-B feel at home...she's a Boro fan. One thing was clear, the wind was going to do its best to spoil the game and once again the Bay were struggling against Storm Connor...Barbara had only left on Christmas Eve. As a result Mrs B-B noted that the Bay weren't exactly "bossing the game". Again she was spot on with her analysis as every ball forward was either held up in the wind or fell to a Celtic player. The pitch wasn't helping ether. I presume that after the last time it was cut, which wasn't such a success, it had been left longer. This meant that the lads' attempts at playing football on the ground were being held up by a clingy pitch. Nothing the grounds staff could do about that. Tom Potter, on the wing was struggling to free the ball from its claggy prison (...er of Azkaban: sorry best Harry Potter reference we could think of - it was cold!). A welcome returnee was the famous Bay Bell; which had been missed. However, it wasn't ringing out enough for most people's liking because of the lack of bay attacks.

Magic man gets his reward.

I'd given up writing notes after missing out on the first goal and it was freezing but there was very little happening until a Celtic volley scraped over the crossbar then another Celtic shot came close.
An injury to Callum Anderson, early in the second half, saw him being replaced by Ryan Keltie and the Bay seemed to gain more impetus going forward. Finally Potter was flying more freely down the wing and the Bay's quick passing started to unsettle the hard-working visitors. It was only fitting that the wizard-winger produced a magical finish (I really should stop this, I know: sorry Tom) into the top corner of the net. Soon after the Bay were awarded a freekick and Callum Patton scored, with the help from Mr Bossyboots Bannon.

Surely the Bay would go on to steamroll our near friends? Not exactly! The pitch became heavier as the night drew in... or maybe the players got tired from running through treacle for the last hour; basically, the busy Supermac and Kempster ran out of steam. As a result, chances were at a premium. Our French revolutionary (I certainly don't remember many French players in the Bay team...), Monsieur Charmey and Kyle were brought on and both brought more attacking purpose down the middle of the field. Despite some nearly-could-have-beens and almost-weres, it looked like the game was over and we could celebrate our first win in five games but the wind had the last laugh. A hopeful punt towards goal caught out Tom Flynn as the wind blew it onto the crossbow. The ball dropped onto the touchline and Hudson was on hand to slide it over the line. Not a great way for the Bay to end 2016 but the fight and determination is still there along with a good team spirit and desire to play football. Fingers crossed, the improvement continues in 2017.
Tom Potter was rightly awarded the h2o man of the match!

I would like to wish all my readers a Happy New Year and hope that 2017 treats us all well. Also thank you to all of you who are reading this as I am now averaging an incredible 300-400 readers per blog.
Haway the Bay!

17th December 2016 - Sunderland RCA (a)

As a fan of most things from our Gallic neighbours across the Channel, I was delighted with Nash's signing of ex Paris youth player Thibault Charmey from those great players in the international transfer market: Guisborough Town. There was no way I was going to miss his debut: I could practically smell pain chocolat followed by a fricadelle sandwhich americain (sausage sandwich and chips). Complete with the Bay Tricolore I was grateful to fellow Bell-Ender (without a bell now, sadly), Claire for the lift to Sunderland. The Kinnon joined us on a very dry, crisp but cold day.
There had also been another signing with forward Peter Glen-Ravenhill signing from North Shields after scoring 7 goals in 5 games for the reserves. Both players were named in the subs. Staying put in the defence was David Hall after another successful game against Shildon that had earned him the man of the match award.

The bar...warm it was.

First stop, just to get out of the cold, was to the warm atmosphere of the bar, which was doing great guns on its pies rather tasty, apparently. Preferring to wait until half time (by which time they had run out), I headed out for the pitch to watch the pre-match warm-up. Disappointingly, neither the French maestro nor our hot reservist striker were in the starting line-up but that was only to be expected, I suppose: they have to earn their place.
As far as I can remember, whenever the Bay have played here, we have ended up shooting downhill in the first half and that is just how it turned out today.

Mince of a pie?
Nice!

My memories of previous defeats sprang to mind as the lads struggled. RCA were on the attack from the off and the Bay defence didn't look happy in the continued absence of Prof Wilkinson. It was no surprise when with 10 minutes gone, Stehen Callen coolly slotted past the exposed Tom Flynn. It could have been worse a few minutes later when a suicidal Bay backpass, led to an almighty scramble with Bay bodies being flung in front of the ball and then finally Nick Allen spectacularly clearing the ball first off the line and finally narrowly over the bar.

Not good for Shanksy.....up to 8 weeks
 out with geet hard tissue damage.

There was hope for the Bay as the ex-Alnwick duo of Liam Brooks and Adam Shanks looked to be linking up well. It was the Kempstervator who found himself out of luck however as his efforts were cleared off the line, having twice beaten ex-Bay legend (for ten minutes) Jonathan Carmichael. According to one Bay fan visiting from Malta, he had been indulging in too many of the old pies since leaving.
The second half didn't start well for Whitley's Shankster as he went down under a challenge and couldn't get up...or even roll off the pitch, as one sympathetic soul said he should do.

On came new boy Peter Glen-Ravenhall for his debut and he proceeded to hit both posts with two cracking strikes. It just wasn't to be our day.

The drama once again proved to be off the pitch as a paramedic arrived at the other end of the pitch. Assuming it was for Shanksy, it shut the youngest member of the travelling support for a few minutes, who claimed there was nowt wrong with Mr Shanks and that he'd be playing next week. We watched as the paramedic went one way and Shanks went the other like an episode of the Keystone Cops. It later turned out that one of the Sunderland fans had taken ill and was thankfully taken to hospital in an ambulance that quickly arrived. Shanks would have to make his own way to Cramlington hospital...couldn't see him wanting to be treated at Sunderland General somehow.
Finally, the French Maestro arrived on the pitch but with eight minutes left, it seemed like it was too late. He did have the chance to lay off a couple of good balls to the supporting Peter, Alex and Liam (boyband potential...? Don't think so) and did so calmly and accurately.
The final blow came when Mark Robinson slotted calmly underneath the advancing Flynn. 2-0 final score and once again the lads had been out-fought and out-passed, despite the luck not going their way.

Sad trip home.

What we need is a local derby next....
Have a great Christmas and see you at Hillheads on Boxing Day for the big game!

10th December 2016 - Shildon (h)

I missed the last two games due to trips away to see indie popsters White Lies in Liverpool and Placebo in Leeds. Avoiding the defeat at Guisborough and draw at Benfield gave me false hope of a Bay win. Even though we were facing fourth placed Shildon, I was still confident. After all in the away game, the Bay had recovered from being 2-0 down to secure a draw at the league champions. This Bay team, I feel, has more to offer, playing-wise, if lacking in experience. I was also looking forward to seeing the new boys Liam Brooks (Forward from Alnwick Town) and Matty McCarthy (defender from WAC) but both were on the bench and a surprise inclusion was the twinkle-toed elder statesman of Whitley football Chris 'I'm the coach' Moore. The rumour on the terrace was that he was actually making his ninth debut for the club although that was later scaled down to his third.
There was also the added draw, after the game, of a fans' forum. this also included the genius move of giving £1 off everyone attending's first beverage. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend but Mr Bay Twitter was in attendance to report back.
The Bay made the perfect start when a Shanks flick found Kempster. His cross eluded everyone and was perfectly side-footed home. The boys were back in town!
However, they weren't. Shildon suddenly seemed to step up a gear and the Bay goal was under siege most of the half. Shildon levelled from the penalty spot on 13 minutes, Billy Greulich-Smith scoring. This was followed by a chance for Captain Mac, but his drive at the far post only  met the side netting. The Bay were made to rue this missed opportunity as a flying Shildon player in the box, again meant the visitors being awarded a penalty which BGS slotted home confidently.
Shildon's passing was so much better than the Bay's and whenever the home players rescued the ball, their clearances lacked composure and accuracy so were quickly recovered by the visitors. Tom Flynn was a busy boy.

Shrinking Chocolate?
Not happy!

Our short-sighted group became slightly distracted during this period and so the conversation drifted onto that important and, often debated, subject of shrinking chocolate bars. With the help of Google, we solved the debate once and for all. The truth of it all is that Mars bars in the 1990s were 65 grams and are now a miniscule 51 grams (although in the 1980s they were only 49 grams!). Yorkies have gone from 58g (1980s) to 70g (1990s) and are now a teeny-sized 46 grams. (thanks to Confectionerynews.com)
There was good news in that Kitkats, Double Deckers and Lion bars have grown in size. But yes...Wagon Wheels are indeed smaller. This frequently recurring topic lead us to Tommy's Tea Emporium at half time as I indulged in some tiny Mars Bar action.

Our view from afar!

Into the second half and our view of the action was once again distant as Liam Brooks replaced the Kempstervator, who had picked up an injury and couldn't keep going in the second half. Shildon continued to dominate. Yes the lads worked hard but they just couldn't get going. With big man Brooks up front there were a few more high balls aimed at him but the visiting defence held sway.

Ripped shorts?

The on-field action frequently took second place to the antics of a group of young lads, all wearing blue and white Hair-Bear bunch Afro-wigs (circa 1970). Their constant cries of "Keeper, keeper your pants have split!" were amusing for a while but we eventually tired and when we returned to concentrate on the game, it went from bad to worse.
The game was effectively over in the 64th minute when the flying Lewis Wing took aim and his deflected shot beat the floored Flynn at his near post. The continued huff and puff from the boys showed great willing but they created few chances and the game finished 3-1; Shildon having controlled the game after the Bay's opener.
Not quite back to the drawing board, just a minor blip in this young side's progress.

Finally: good luck to Stephen Gibson who has been missing from the Bay line-up with a torn patella tendon and needs 6-7 months of physio and rehab but thankfully no operation. Get well soon!

19th November 2016 - Penrith (h)

The three Musketeers had passed their first test in permanent charge with flying second half colours so hopes were high against a Penrith side that had only lost one of its previous away games. But the lads would have to do without the in-form General Patton. On the plus side Professor Row Z (if we had one) Wilkinson was back to join the solid Ryan Keltie and improving Callum Anderson and flying Supermac in defence.
We were not happy when our comfortable spot in the Allotment End sunshine was ripped from our grasp by Penrith winning the toss...all because they didn't want their keeper staring into the sun! Didn't they know I needed the warmth of the sun to beat the man-flu ripping dramatically through my body? I vented, in a banterous manner, my spleen at the linesman as we tracked our way into the other end's shade.
The football in the opening stages wasn't much to get excited about but we soon realised that Penrith's 'tallest keeper in the league' nominee was going to be entertaining. Step forward Jonnie Jamieson...you were officially the funniest player on the pitch! His banter kept us going throughout the afternoon and he didn't even care if no-one was listening.
"We're only here for the fun!" was his first offering when a visiting chance went begging.
It soon became apparent that Penrith were going to make a real game of it and thankfully the Kempstervator was on hand to head off the line when Flynn found himself stranded. When an unknown Penrith midfielder fell over in the middle of the pitch, Jonnie was in stitches but with half time approaching, the game was turned on its head. Completely against the run of play the Bay were ahead: Robbo firing through a sea of bodies. Jonnie didn't hold back on his team.
There was a shock start to the second half as a mis-timed Bay tackle saw the visitors awarded a penalty. Up stepped Martyn Coleman and Flynn bailed out his team with a save low to his left. Jonnie commented:

Ploughed? Blame the frost and the rain!

"We would have a half-decent team if we had a forward." We lapped it up.
Next up on the catalogue of missed visiting chances was Andrew Murray-Jones, who managed to miss a virtually open goal. In their defence, the pitch was not helping. In an attempt to do something to improve it from Tuesday night (cut it I think) the Hillheads ground staff had ploughed it slightly...I'm blaming the hard frost the previous night...and the rain.
Another Penrith chance went begging to which our resident comedian remarked:

The noise was so great that it attracted Baby Twitter
 to investigate and pick up blades of grass for people.

"Can't hit a cow's arse with a banjo." which seemed a strange expression to us seasiders and maybe is more common in the rolling hills of the Lake District where cow-bashing is more commonplace.
To be fair to the Penrith forwards, they were doing everything but score: it just wouldn't go in, thankfully. Tommo was in inspired form and a spectacular overhead kick from Bobby Atkinson saw our young keeper tip over in an equally dramatic fashion.
"Cheated every week!" railed JJ.
Captain Supermac still managed to lead a breakaway charge and his effort was tipped over by Jonnie J. Next up it was Robbo, who was unlucky to flagged offside when he scored.
"Cheated every week!" we informed JJ.

The last act of the game was played out in true ice hockey fashion. With Penrith awarded a corner, up popped our favourite! JJ was going to show the strikers 'how to do it' . The corner came in, was missed by all the visiting players and was cleared up the field to the marauding Kyle Patton. Still with plenty to do, he managed to beat a Penrith defender to the ball then racde in on goal. Still with plenty to do he coolly rolled it past a final desperate defender into the empty net. We got quite excited. JJ not so.

A fantastic end to an exciting game. The lads had dug deep and come up trumps. The Bay were in the lofty heights of 5th! Tommo: the Flynnster was rightly named GBOM. Good Boy!

15th November 2016 - Bedlington Terriers (h) BMM League Cup -2

Marc Nash was the boss permanently with Anthony Woodhouse and Chris Moore as his assistant and coach respectively. What an opportune time for Paddy Atkinson to bring his greatly improved Terriers team to the Bay. Paddy, Mr Angrypants, wasn't all bad apparently since, I was informed, he had paid for tracksuits for the team when he arrived at the Bay. What a nice man...he's gone up in my estimation then.

Old school Justin Bieber....?

Still without the Shankster, who was watching on, it was the same team as Saturday's win but with Callum Anderson coming in for Professor Wilkinson. Callum had certainly changed the game along with Kyle Patton when they had come on in Washington so it was good to see him getting a start. Keltie and Allen were working well together in midfield and it was the Bay who started the strongest. Twice Kyle Fryatt jinked his way towards goal. the first time he ended with a trickling shot and the second, he ended up flying perfectly through the air to land in an undignified heap. Then it was Robo's turn to get a good chance but the chance was missed when he should have taken a shot first time.
It was nice to see our favourite Pixie in goal: ex WAC keeper, Jak Wells but this time he arrived complete with a new haircut. Gone were the flowing grungy locks to be replaced by an old school Justin Bieber look. Next time we see him...the skinhead?
The Bay were playing some great stuff but Flynn still needed to be on his toes when the Terriers' Kyle Oliver hit a shot that screamed past his left hand post. Next it was the Kempstervator who found Justin Bieber's legs too tricky to nutmeg.
The lino was doing his best to help out the Terriers when he informed their left back how poorly he was doing in playing our forwards offside. "Unfair!" we cried.
Finally, a fantastic cross from Callum Munroe was met by Robbo's bullet header. Justin was not happy!
We were delighted to welcome back a fit again Tommy at the Tea Emporium after a period out of the kitchen through illness. Boy, can that man make tea.....and errrr, hot chocolate.
The Padster had obviously had a quiet word with his team as the visitors took control of the second half. Another great fingertip save from Flynn kept the visitors out, then it was a lobbed effort from the half way line that had Tommy boy backpedalling. Thankfully it just drifted over.
Whitley's luck ran out when the Terrier's Paul Wardle left Flynn grasping air as he headed home.
Back came the Bay, however, and it was the General who met a magical cross from the wing wizard Potter with a volley over his shoulder.

There was more delight as the Kempstervator headed home, allegedly with his eyes shut, on his 150th Bay appearance. He was pleased with that!

Next, it was Supermac with a screamer from outside the box that the Bieber-like had no chance with. We were then in heaven when Robbo attempted a perfect reverse-flick-cross-type-thing that landed in the visiting crooner's relieved hands. Moira, just returned from her holiday in South Africa...we've seen the photos...then told him to watch his language and just "Try to Laugh it off." Jak just looked at her and replied "Do I look like I can just laugh it off?" with a cheeky smile before launching into a rendition of "No Pressure" from his 2015 album Purpose.

Push it! Push it real good!

Isn't Google wonderful.
As the goals dried up for a while, we contented ourselves by singing Spinderella and Salt and Peppa's "Push It" before we were sent into our final moment of ecstasy for the evening...A wonder-strike from youngster Jack Cooper!
1-2
1-2-3
1-2-3-4
5-1
Could have been the chant....but instead we admired the new Aldi on driving out the Car Park. We were still in a cup!

12th November 2016 - Washington (a)

Not Washington DC but Washington SR!

My first opportunity, due to family commitments, to see the Nashville revolution that was taking place at
the Bay meant I had to visit the new home of newly-elected president Donald 'build-a-wall' Trump. I was slightly bemused when The Boy Mark arranged to pick me up only an hour before kick-off and that there wasn't a trans-Atlantic trip but a trans-Tyne one. Yes, I was slightly disappointed when we turned up, after ending up in one of Nissan's numerous deadends, at the Sports and Leisure Complex. This was made up for as we relaxed in their sumptuous bar area that overlooked the pitch.
With a win and a draw in the two games since taking over from Chan, the Nashster was doing himself no harm with potential manager interviews being held next week. Of course I wonder which of the questions below will the candidates be asked first and has Marc been asked them already?
"Can you work miracles on a shoe-string?"
"Can you work on water or perform neat tricks with loaves and fishes?"
"Do you have a rich millionaire wife (or husband - don't want to be sexist of course) willing to plough loads of money into our club?"

Mo-time in Washington!

All Marc could do was win games and hope he had a chance. For today's game, the lads were without the watching Shanksy who, despite sporting a trendy little moustache for Movember was injured for the game thanks to a not-so-tasty tackle in the win at West Auckland.
In his absence the front two pairing seemed to be General Callum Patton and Robbo with the Kempstervator and Kyle Fry on the wings.
After a minute's silence for Remembrance Day, it soon became clear that this was going to become a backs-to-the wall job as the home side pressed forward. There were rare forays for the visiting attack with most of them coming through Tom 'Harry' Potter's magical runs down the Bay's right wing.
Against the run of play, it was General Patton who put the Bay ahead with a superb 25-yard freekick that left one of our favourite keepers, Dale Connor, grasping thin air.

It could have been even better for the Bay as more Potter wizardry ended up with the Fryboy frying flying in at the far post but his slide only sent the ball past the far post.
Connor had avoided all contact with the Bay hordes behind the goal (all ten of us) but his afternoon was sealed when he leapt like a salmon to collect a cross on the edge of his area and his captain shouted "Good boy!" to him. We rubbed our hands with glee.

Canny spot for windmills and spotting Penshaw Monument!

Mmmmmm.....canny table cloth and refreshment selection, although the gravy was a bit thin!

Throughout the second half, on the rare occasions Whitley threatened his goal, he was subjected to a chorus of "Good boy!", "Bad boy!" and "Good boy, fetch the ball!" How funny we thought we were!

Wild boys! Wild boys!
(but I really tried to get a shot of the flock of
starlings swarming - I think it is called a murmur...)

Our own Professor Wilkinson was definitely a "Bad boy!" when he directed a simple pass straight to a home defender. Thankfully his team-mates helped him out. In fact Flynn, in the Bay goal was having a confident game and his handling of crosses was especially noteworthy.
Unfortunately, the Bay's luck ran out when the ball pinged about Flynn's penalty area, twice it was cleared off the line before ex-Bay boy Paul Kane slipped the ball home. Bad Boy!
Flynn came to the Bay's rescue with a tip-over to stop the Washington Redskins  FC from taking the lead. With the young Corporal Kyle Patton and Callum Anderson on for the Bay, we actually saw some Bay attacking play. In injury time the away fans went wild for a penalty when not only Alex Kempster ended up on the ground but also the ever-dependable Professor Wilko. Would you believe the Washington Capitols  FC defenders accused the Prof of diving, however the big man took no notice and the General stepped up to lash past Connor to earn himself a big round of "Good Boy"s. He fully deserved his GBOTM award at the end!

Is this the last resting place of the original good boy?
Nope - electric main in the corner of the pitch .
#healthandsafetynightmare!

26th October 2016 - Morpeth (a) TG Senior Cup -1

End of an era (again)

This was supposed to be a run-of-the mill we-got-knocked-out-of-the-cup-at-the-first-round-of-asking type of blog but events that followed the mild evening in Northumberland have over-shadowed that.
It was a packed car that set off for the big Cup game game with The Boy Mark driving myself, Mr Twitter (kicked out by his poorly wife to stop him moping around the house- get well soon Mrs Twitter) and Coventry Neil (who'd just managed to get away from dropping his cats off for their injections) into the pleasant evening.
There was the walk through the dark from the car park to the ground which will probably be immensely amusing in the middle of winter.
This was followed by the following highlights:

Morpeth dog with his own knitted scarf.

A nice dog-walking area behind the goal!

A pleasant drink in the welcoming club house:
Alas Smith and Jones anyone?
Defo for the older readers ie all of you.

Pleasant set of conifers (IMHO) - not cut down in any way!

The match itself went like this:

Chronicle!
Ooops we scored while you were selling that paper.

We were re-acquainted with Mr Chronicle Seller (formerly at Ashington: Karl Dryden) which is always a pleasure even though he never appears to appreciate our mimicking of his nonsensical calls. Kempster came up with the worst corner in history that almost went out for a throw-in on the half-way line.

Morpeth battered the Bay but amazingly going into half time we were 1-0 up thanks to Kempster's  skillful threading of the ball throw Dryden's legs. Bless him he was not amused.

Josh Nearney was flinging himself left right and centre again to keep out a Morpeth strike force that included our old favourite Paul 'don't expect me to pass' Robinson. It was also nice to see Chris 'It's my new team and I'll moan if I want to' Reid. True to form Robo shot from distance (very accurately) and Reid was dominant at the back (mostly) but moaned a lot to the ref. Happy days.

Just as we set off to beat the queue for a tasty pie, Morpeth were level. 

The second half was more one-way traffic but Whitley were looking considerably more tired and Morpeth were 3-1 heading into the closing minutes. Most of the game had been spent looking into the distance with the occasional foray nearer Karl D's goal...very occasional. 

However on 90 minutes there was delight as Callum Patton's free kick nestled into KD's left hand post. It was however too little too late and yet again we were out of the cup. 

On the way out, I was consoled by my Morpeth-supporting mate and his daughter but as I told him, the best team had won so there were no hard feelings....as if! We were miserable heading back but none of the talk centred on Chan losing his job. Okay so putting Callum Anderson up front to partner Shanksy might not have been a master stroke but what other options did we have? We were struggling. I won't mention who was moaning about missing the Bake-Off final for that.

It was a real shock when I found out that Chan had been sacked. Yes, we'd lost the last two against top three teams away from home but it had only been by one goal each time. However, before that there had been a winning run that had seen us also beat top boys Newton Aycliffe and Marske. With the smallest squad for a long time the Bay legend that is Ian Chandler had performed the equivalent of Moses parting the Red Sea. Remember what it had been like BC (Before Chan)? We'll soon remember when Mr Happy-Go-Lucky Paddy returns to the Hillheads with his new lot of Terriers. 

I wonder if the decision to part company with Chan ran a bit like this:

"We have a  business consortium wanting to invest millions in the Bay! They want us to be bigger than North and South Shields combined!"

"Oooh, that sounds nice. Bring them in!"

"Unfortunately they want to bring in their own man....someone called Allardyce."

"Ooh is he called Sam?"

"Och! That's the man!"

"We'll be sad to see Ian go."

"True, but we'll tell him and his family can always come back!"

"That'll be splendid, I'm sure He'll understand."

"Of course he will...and we did just get knocked out of another cup..."

"True, I really wanted to go to St James' Park again this year."

"Me too!" Wiping tears from their eyes as Chan walks in.

Somehow, I have a feeling it didn't. Only time will tell. 

Allardyce? Moyes? 

Who could be coming? 

Hmmmmm!
So long Chan and thanks once again for more great memories...although not quite as record breaking as the last set of memories but still worth the ride.  You can sit down now! 

Haway the Bay!

18th October 2016 - Guisborough Town (h)

We still couldn't believe Saturday's smash and grab at Marske or Logan Powell's miss but it was an optimistic pair of myself and the returning Boy Mark who arrived at Hillheads. In time-worn tradition I stood by the turnstiles trying to find my season ticket in the depths of my moth-riddled wallet. I know I promised the Boy Mark to have it in a handy place but it probably would be better if it was A4 sized so I could easily see it...but then I would need an A4 wallet and A4 trouser pockets and that would mean probably wearing the pair of jeans hanging outside of one of the Bay's gentleman's retailers which announces "We stock massive sized jeans..." You think you have problems!

Disco board...woaw.
For that Tommyknockers experience on the Bench.

The Boy had also lost his hat (and it was a little bit chilly) so it was off to the Bay Supporting Wonderland that is Doug's Club Shop. His choice was a plain blue one which "wouldn't show the dirt up": practicality first! We were very excited to see the club's disco board charging in the corner. We even got to touch it but weren't allowed to play with it.

A rather trim-looking
bearded wonder with the cup.

Fans of Berrywatch will have missed the Bearded one but our hero was adding his considerable skills and knowledge to the Armed Forces team that won the Kentish Cup against Armed Forces teams from the Netherlands and France. Well done young man, glad you were doing something useful with your time and not lounging around painting your nails.
Your fans all over the world salute you!
It was also confirmed that our Greek firecracker was no long ours. His move to Team Northumbria had been confirmed and that he had been offered a great deal to support his studies, something we couldn't compete with so we wish him all the best and yes...will never learn your name.
All I can say is: "να έχεις μια καλή μέρα".
I have no idea what that says but if Google translate is given me the phrase for "May your moussaka always be tasty" I apologise. Blame Google translate.
The lads who were left were on a run of good results based on teamwork and great effort, even Shanks had been known to pass the ball, so there was a good deal of optimism for the game. Yet again, however, we had a kit clash as Town appeared in a Purple kit that made it difficult for those people with poor vision to see the difference between the teams. That means me! Why couldn't they have been made to wear the kit that Newton Aycliffe worn the previous week and still, probably, lay in the corner of their changing room?
There was no Tom Flynn so the relatively unknown Sean Gordge stood in. The first action centred on Callum Patton, who pulled up, limped off, limped back on then soon after limped back off again to be replaced by Aiden Haley. The squad was getting thinner: 17 and counting?
Rumours were that there was a scout from Fleetwood Town in the crowd so we were wondering who he/she (don't want to be accused of sexism) was looking for. Shanks, though seemed to be on overdrive as he chased everything and never complained once to the ref. It was therefore, a just reward when Robbo crossed beautifully for an outstretched Shanks-foot to volley home superbly.
There then followed another ball-gate controversy when James Dawson in the visiting goal fumbled a corner. The ball then appeared to bounce off the back of a defender and in the ensuing scramble, it crossed the line by about 3 foot. We all spotted it (even me), the Bay players celebrated but the ref and linesman completely missed it...again. The sooner goal-line technology is installed at Hillheads, the better. I'm sure the Bay's Mr Twitter would volunteer to help out, when he's not doing everything else!
On 31 minutes, the ground was stunned when Town's Thibault Charmey (their French world cup youth winner, apparently) finished perfectly, high to Gordge's right hand post. Soon after Josh Nearney and Shanks combined perfectly for Shanks to hit a screamer that just missed.

Where's Kenny?

However, a minute later, the Shankster dispossessed an ambling Town defender to uncharacteristically pass to the perfectly placed Robbo to control and score. After recovering from the shock of the pass, the ground erupted, even the man standing behind the goal pretending to be the Parker-wearing Kenny off South Park.
There was a real indicator that winter was coming (Any news from the wall?) because Tommy the Tea impresario had abandoned his baseball cap in favour of his Bay beanie hat! It's going to be a cold one! He was stunned when both the Boy Mark and I followed the two ladies in front of us in ordering hot chocolate instead of the usual tea and bovril.
"I'll never look at you two in the same way!" he noted with a wistful shake of his beanie-covered head. As we enjoyed our half time choccy feasts, we watched the confident Logan Powell slam shots in from outside the box. As we reminded him, helpfully, it wasn't outside the box he needed to concentrate on, it was about three yards out.
The Bay continued to press in the second half but gradually Town came back into the game and Gordge's handling looked pretty confident and the defence held firm. Tackle of the match went to supersub Haley, who perfectly robbed a Town defender when it looked like he only had to beat Gordge to equalise.
Shanks, again, then had an effort close in, which was saved by an outstretched keeper's foot when it seemed destined for the corner.

It was the impressive Fryatt, who sealed the win when he was put in by the equally impressive Nearney, who was steaming forward at every opportunity, to blast the ball past the flailing Dawson.

3-1 could have been a lot more but a fourth just wouldn't come. Once again it had been a team effort. Nick Allen had another superb game with some great interceptions. Four wins on the trot is a fantastic effort after the previous poor run and the lads fully deserved to stand seventh in the league.

Sadly I will miss my first Classicoast (yes, I've bowed to peer group pressure in calling it that instead of El Coastico which is a Shields creation, allegedly). Having to take my eldest daughter to look at Huddersfield University, I know where I would prefer to be. But fear not I will return for the match at Morpeth in the Northumberland Senior Cup. Fingers crossed for the big game and good luck lads, after all our dear local rivals are only top of the league and unbeaten at home! Haway the Bay!

15th October 2016 - Marske (a)

Shamed by the Shanky one and Mr Twitter (although didn't take much persuading) into making the HOUR AND SIX MINUTE journey to the home of another set of Seasiders, the Woodster and I set off on our unexpected journey in bright sunshine.
Memories of our previous visit in the cup and the intimidating 'wall of sound' that emanated from the home fans as they cried out "Sea, sea, seasiders!" in their Tin Shed were still fresh. As if to rub it in, the Tin Shedders had added their own sign to rival the Chicken Run Collective. But, as Woodie so eloquently put it:
"Which came first the Chicken or the Shed?" Scarily, for visiting fans, the ferocity of the Tin Shedders was underlined by their hashtag: #Tin shed or dead! Scary stuff.

There was also a great to-do as we entered the ground because the Prof, whose birthday it was, was standing with a metal pole then a football, gingerly prodding a tree.
The Shankster was blamed for losing a ball up there so Mr Twitter, his mate and I set about, unsuccessfully to retrieve it. Thankfully, the Marske officials promised to get their stepladders out to get the ball back at half time.
I was later reliably informed that the ball was recovered and a relieved Shankster avoided a club fine for losing a ball.

Just like Peter Andre.....
the Prof is always ready to help.

The rumour around the ground was that our Greek could-have-been-a-legend Angelos Elfie had left the club to join Team Northumbria in their promotion push. If that is the case then we'll hope to have a replacement soon to help the all-ready threadbare squad. Guess we won't be learning your name Elfie after all if that is the case.

Purple: shoes,
 socks, top...
well turned
out Deano?

Without the Prof, who failed a fitness test just before kickoff (nothing to do with recovering the errant ball), it was the thankfully recovered Nick Allen and Callum in the centre with Munro and Supermac who lined up in defence. The quartet soon found themselves under strict examination as the home team poured forward. Shots whizzed left, right and centre as somehow Flynn kept a number of great efforts out and the defenders threw themselves in the way to help out with the rest. It only looked a matter of time before the home team scored.
However, there was a brief moment of hope when Kempster chased a through ball only for the Purple-clad Robert Dean in the home goal to head away as he raced out of goal.

Shanks: 1-0? Keeper got it covered

However, the play returned straight back to the Whitley goal as hearts were back in mouths for the travelling fans.
Amazingly though, with the half time whistle approaching, it was the frustrated but hard-working, figure of Shanks who let fly with a shot that skipped goalwards to give the Bay the lead. Deano, looked to have it covered but the ball slid through his grasping fingers and in off the post.
Not one Bay fan had a clue how that had happened! Neither, probably did the Shankster, who duly celebrated his 50th Whitley goal. The Purple-cladded one was not amused, however and as he lay on the ground in shock, his team-mates screamed for him to get up as they took the kick off.
The second half carried on in the same vein, after a spell of consistent Bay pressure. Once again we needed our binoculars to make out the action. The occasional Bay break threatened to seal the game but it was Flynn and co who were the busiest, with our own Mr Anderson playing a blinder. It was the Tattooed Titan who came up with possibly the tackle of the game that deprived Marske a goal-scoring opportunity. The ball was launched forward and as the Purple Wurple raced out of goal, the ball took an amazing bounce that cleared him completely. Sub Logan Powell carried on running and was left with the simplest task of rolling the ball into the gaping 24 foot by 8 foot goal, however he dawdled and a defender got back to clear for a corner.
As ninety minutes turned into injury time, Marske mounted a final all-out assault and despite the fact that we looked likely to pay for Logan's miss, the ball flew everywhere except into Flynn's net. The lads had well and truly smash-and-grabbed the three points.
The Purple Wurple showed his great sense of humour as he stylishly photo-bombed our victory selfie. What a dude! The lads were doing an amazing job of papering over the cracks: third coating in a row...wonder if the floodlights are fixed!

Everyone's excited!