28th March 2016 - North Shields (h)

Having waited for this fixture with baited breath, it seemed that the closer the day became, the longer the Bay injury list grew. Not many Bay fans held out much hope of anything but avoiding a pounding. We had had our day in September when the lads had worked their socks off to come away from Shields with a 2-1 win.
Not surprisingly the Shields Ultras were in good form with their original versions of contemporary popular terrace songs. The theme of these ditties revolved around hating Whitley and not liking being in Whitley. They didn't have to be here! Their parade of 20 lads through the car park wasn't exactly the numbers they had hoped for when they had planned it.
The reduced novelty of the Coastico meant that the bumper following of the previous year had diminished but it was still good to see a sizable crowd of 900+ descend on Hillheads. (officially 945 compared to 811 in Shields).

The first song in the visiting match reportoire was the old classic "Sing in the library..." This was countered by one of the veteran Bellenders who mused

WSPG will be after

 you, young man!

"How would you know what it is like in a library?"
Also noteworthy was the Shields' keeper McCafferty's insistence on loudly banging his boots on the metal posts: not encouraged in any form of library and certainly not popular with the Bellenders (the WPSG - Whitley Society for Protection of Goalposts). As expected he hadn't had that much to do in the opening moments so he had plenty of time to annoy us. The best bit of abuse to come his way was from our veteran Bellender who told him not to swear because it would be demeaning his "...NE26 roots. You didn't learn that sort of language in Whitley Lodge!" Postcodes were to be a large part of today's banter.
Shields' dominance of the opening exchanges almost earned dividends as a freekick zipped over Flynn's bar and then home hearts were in their mouths when Gibson prevented Shields' Dan Wilson from breaking clear with a scything tackle. An expected red card wasn't shown and the blue part of Hillheads breathed a sigh of relief as a yellow was pulled out. The reds (even though their team was inexplicably wearing white) were not happy.

Ha! take that!

They were even more annoyed when a Fowler cross was expertly flicked into the net by the young head of Andy Robertson. McCafferty hadn't even moved! Served him right for battering our post! No-one could really believe it. Andy had successfully filled in Ash's big boots: holding the ball up with fantastic determination and also showing great skill with both foot and head.

And that!

Chrissy Y, answering the call from his Cricket sabbatical to play, had a good effort saved but a few minutes before half time there was double delight as Robertson held off a defender before rolling the ball under the advancing McCafferty. Woohooo!
Graham Fenton, who many Newcastle fans have never forgiven for scoring two goals for Blackburn that stopped them winning the Premier League in 1996, had a vociferous tirade for his players as he struggled to fathom out how they were losing. It was quite simple: the home team had scored more goals than his.

Mr Grumpy Fenton!

Thinning of the away support!

Despite Shields' triple second half substitutions the Bay held firm and with Richard Flynn in commanding form there were few efforts that bothered Tom Flynn. When he was called into action the goalie Flynnster was equal to it tipping a shot over the bar in expert fashion. Unfortunately the Bay's injury list grew longer as Steve Gibson had to be carried off but the Bay were not to be denied.

You are the future!

 It was noticeable that the vast majority of Shields fans that remained (who were by now enjoying being in a library - probably reading some Mills and Boon romantic novels) were a lot quieter. Their numbers had thinned as the expected victory seemed to be slipping away from their grasp. The highlight of the second half had to be the new generation of Bellenders who have now moved on from singing "Wooooaaaaaawwwww, you're $£%&, aaahhhhh!" to a full compendium that earned them praise indeed from our veteran Bellender.
"C'mon lads...you are THE future!" he crowed. Keep it up they did, with the effervescence of youth, putting us oldies to shame. At first they were attacked by a lone three-year-old Shields fan whose older brother (aged 7) had dared him to do it. After the tot's lone foray, his dad told him off and he had to content himself with shouting "Shut up!" every so often towards the home choir; who hardly noticed him, so intent on their own banter.
Unabated, the youngsters carried on singing their repertoire which included: soon to be favourites
"N....E....25....NE25....!"
"Do you remember September....?"
"Oh, Tom Flynn..." to the tune of the White Stripe's Seven Nation Army.
Although there was consternation that they had started spraying the bottled water over themselves too early as they sang "We're getting wet, we're getting wet. ee I oh adyo....."
However their 'piece de resistance' was yet to come as the remaining away fans drifted off to get the bus back to NE29 leaving great spaces in the Car Park End. The lads edged into the middle of the Shields fans, even past their young rivals, who had taken to sitting forlornly on the steps, and began chanting
"You took your flags down...."
Down came the NE29 flag, the two flags saying Shields and Ultras that had fluttered side by side and the library was quiet again, except for the home youngsters' cries. Just the way we like it!
When the final whistle blew, the moans from the exiting Shields fans grew as they moaned about everything from the referee's bias towards Whitley to the lack of sunshine. Obviously there is usually more sunshine in their NE29 postcode but today the sun shone on the Bay.
The final words should really belong to Shields' Yeti-like Fenton:
"To be honest, the pitch won the day today because they didn't play any sort of football. It's an absolute cowfield out there, the balls are mis-shapen and it probably looks like I'm making excuses but for a club like this to have a pitch and using balls and equipment like this is an absolute disgrace....Standards across the board should be better."
You're right, it does sound like excuses.
Enjoy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxGWKTj6qns

Happy days!

Friday 25th March - West Allotment Celtic (a)

Over confidence is a dangerous thing if you are a football supporter because there is always a shock waiting to bite you when you least expect it.

Today's game was point in proof. For starters, there was the beautifully sunny day that beckoned in the start of our Easter holidays: a portent of doom if ever there was one. Then there was the fact that I decided to bring along the Bay Tricoleur for its first outing since it had witnessed one of our previous defeats. I had decided to give it a rest for a while. Today, my thoughts were riddled with sentimentality and Maltese visitor, David Hall's disappointed, and suntanned face, when I didn't have it at Hillheads. We had also arrived early; having purposefully given ourselves time for a drink before kick-off. All basic errors. From changed routines to meteorological features: we just didn't read the signs!

Tubes and Wells - sort of identical?

In fact we had barely finished attaching the aforementioned French flag to the railings when the yeti-like Jack Wells in the Celtic goal confidently collected a cross into his area before launching it upfield. The Whitley defence obligingly parted to allow a Celtic striker to curl a shot past the stranded Flynn into the top right hand post. The discussion after that between the Boy Mark and Whitey seemed to centre upon how similar Soccer AM's Tubes resembled the Celtic number 1. It showed how much impact the goal had had on our little pose as we tried to blot it out of our memory. Unfortunately, having spent the last seven football years organising girls' teams I was unable to join in with this debate so returned my attention to the pitch.

Fortunately, things picked up for  the Bay. First Shanks tore down on goal before expertly skying his shot - rugby-style - over the crossbar; but between the posts! Next, not to be outdone, Ash was then put clean through on goal and he too hit the top of the netting behind the home goal. Shooting practice would seem to be a priority for Chan?

Unhappy Tubes?

Conversation returned to Tubes / Wells and his extra-long socks that extended over his knees - a no-no in our footballers' appearance rule book. - This was interrupted when Shanks deftly controlled a ball over his shoulder before coolly slotting past the advancing Wells. Wells' response was to yell at anybody and everybody he could: always nice to see as an opposition fan. But there was more to follow as a perfectly weighted corner found its way to the back post where the Shankster headed gleefully home! Great! There was still a scare when Flynn had to tip a super effort over the bar but, after fighting back from a goal down, the lads were looking good for their goal lead.

Since it was Easter....and it was lunchtime (12am kickoffs force us to take desperate measures) we decided that it would be rude not to invest in a bit of WAC's refreshments. I ordered a cheeseburger and chips (skinny fries apparently) without the cheese. I was most appreciative of the chips which had a hint of barbecue sauce to them...McCain's?

Sun is shining! What could go wrong?

Then it all went seriously wrong. Was it because I forgot to put the flag out again or was it the growing number of injuries faced by the team as Ash was withdrawn at half time, joining Bramley and Anderson on the sidelines. Every Whitley play seemed to be slumped on the ground at some stage or other in the second half. The only plus point seemed to be the form of Tom Flynn as he leapt all over the shop to keep the home team at bay. When the Bay did get possession, their desire to constantly launch the ball forward meant that it kept returning in their direction, assisted by a strengthening breeze / wind. Wells / Tubes was extremely quiet as he watched the play: an interested spectator. The tactic of firing the ball forward in the hope that Shanks could out-leap his eight-foot marker really needs to be looked at, I think. 

In between the action, an increasing number of children ran onto the pitch in front of us to retrieve their balls as they ignored the action on the pitch to have a number of kickabouts on the expanse of pitches behind us. I also found myself being stared out by a toddler, complete with Dummy, followed by a six year-old girl who demanded I move out of the way of her scooter as she circumnavigated the pitch. It was all getting tense on the terraces.

Not surprisingly, on the pitch, the constant home pressure finally paid off. A great passing move in the Bay penalty area ended with the equalising goal. This all happened while the Bay's Munroe was off the pitch. He eventually limped back on but it was obvious that the full time whistle could not come soon enough. A collision between substitute Craig McFarlane and the brick wall that is Richard Flynn also added to the injury concerns. Just when it looked like we could escape with a point, Celtic scored the winner with a brilliantly worked freekick. The home team's outpouring of joy would have been great to witness, as they rushed to congratulate each other, if you weren't a Bay fan.

Leaving the ground, there was a furious discussion between two unhappy Bay fans: one of whom was intent on explaining away the defeat by the number of injuries. His friend, on the other hand was having none of it as he shouted at his friend:

"Excuses win nothing! It was a must win and that's all that mattered!" 

The most impressive part of all this was that his badly fitting hat stayed on his head throughout his tirade. Here's hoping the Bay manage to keep their heads as the pressures grow.

Shields on Monday? Oh good!

15th March 2016 Newcastle Benfield (h)

Whitley Bay Scally?

Fed up with the lack of warm weather, I decided to take matters into my own hands and raid Doug's Bay Bargain Bin at the club shop. The blue and white wigs didn't look likely to bring the heat but then I spotted the Wembley 2009-10 VINTAGE sun-hat: sorted for that late 80s Madchester revival: all for the princely sum of £1. However, I would still resist the massive flared jeans and smiley face t-shirt. Joining the Boy Mark and I were young Whitey and Silly, neither of whom we had seen for a while and the former was extremely excited about the signing of Bulgarian Nikolay Ivanov. Where he had come from, nobody knew, although the Bulgarian town of Blyth was mentioned. Whitey was extremely excited about the prospect of witnessing the first Bulgarian to pull on a Bay shirt. A moment in history that would probably heighten the sales of Bay shirts and sun-hats in the Balkans he predicted.

Getting to grips with Shanks?

The first 30 minutes passed by with little of note except for the drizzle
that forced most of the fans to take refuge under the stands: those with and without sun-hats.
Unfortunately, a two-footed / dangerous / sliding tackle ( I was distracted) saw Bay's Aiden Haley, still not sure who he was, getting an early bath. The mood around Hillheads dropped as the writing appeared on the wall. After Saturday's inept display there had been a marked improvement (we hadn't conceded any rate) but now escaping without defeat looked decidedly tricky. But which Whitley would we see, now? The battling one? Benfield pressed but our hopes were raised Ashy D was sent through 1 on 1 on goal. His effort was saved by an outstretched Andy Grainger's foot.
Thankfully we made it through to half time at 0-0 and a chance to dunk an enormous cola bottle into a cup of tea lifted my spirits. Maybe the players had done likewise because they looked a lot more fired up in the second half. The visitors pressed more effectively but Flynn was on his metal to pull off a magnificent fingertip save before the rebound sailed past his post.
Although under the cosh, it was a really strong performance and when our Bulgarian hero replaced Chrissy Y, everyone seemed to grow in stature. A brilliant tackle from Shanksy won the ball near the dugouts and as the ball flew towards Niko, he brilliantly byureked (a Bulgarian dish apparently) a Benfield defender to lay the ball off. A full-length, diving Kempstervator met the ball to beat Grainger.

Delighted locals!

This meant we wouldn't be subjected to any Grainger Games: slowing the game down and the like... There was also shades of an ex Bay manager when the Benfield boss was heard to shout
 "$%£@!& lazy!" at his own players as they stood, bemused by the Bay's, and Kempster's, brilliance.

None of your time-wasting games!

In fact the lads were straight back and like the giants they had become were dominating play. It was Benfield's turn to rely on breakaways. Silly did his best goading the hapless Grainger by commenting:
 "You've got lovely boots..." He took it in the spirit it was meant: silly.

Tommy knew it was over!

In the final minute Shanksy battled his way into the box and found Alexio Kempstervator. He superbly rounded the keeper and scored from the tightest of angles with a real blasting shot. We were delighted.
We almost began singing "We only had ten men!" but the final whistle sent us home!

13th March 2016 - Seaham Red Star

On probably the only sunny day in October 2015, the Boy Mark and I were accompanied by his daughter to witness a fine 3-2 win for the Bay at the Wendy House in Seaham. It seemed like a good omen when I set off from home to attend the return fixture. The previous game the boys had dismantled Dunston and, for the first time in a while, I actually had high hopes for a Bay win. Okay, so I broke with tradition and imbibed an extra cup of tea from Tommy's Tea Tavern and there was the return of Sparky Kerr to deal with but I nevertheless still had high hopes! Better than that...when the multi-coloured hair of referee Helen Byrne set the game in motion: we were attacking our favourite allotment end in the first half! Three points sorted? As if! Sucker!

Corner time!

It was all quite relaxed as the Bay's Twitterer and I tried to identify the team and formation, him more than me, my eyes couldn't see so well that far. The ball bounced backwards and forwards around the midfield with relatively little to upset the calm of the sunny Spring day. Maybe that was the problem, because the first shot of real note was David Palmer's header that beat returnee Tom Flynn, in place of the departed Jennison, to his top right hand corner. Seven minutes gone and the malaise hadn't disappeared. The lads fought back with some neat play but still created nothing to really test Lurch in the Seaham goal.

Made sense to me....

Just as I texted The Boy the score in his absence; lightning struck again. No idea what the goal looked like but now the Bay were 2-0 down. This aroused a previously silent group of four Seaham fans who roared their boys on with calls for more goals and a stepping up of their efforts. They themselves set off in the direction of the bar soon after: dedication!
It was also noticeable that Lurch in the visiting goal was taking longer on his goalkicks...much to the annoyance of the Bellenders.

The Boy Mark finally arrived and I would like to say that things improved but they didn't and it was only Flynn's finger-tip save that kept out a third goal.
Into the second half and although there was effort on both sides, there was little to shout about. In fact the mood at the Bellend was becoming quite aggressive as players were shouted at for making any mistake and the referee came in for abuse for being a woman. As a coach in the female game, it is always good to see more and more females coming into the game and if some of the 'fans of football' ever took the time to watch the women's game they would see how far it has come. Bronze medal in the women's world cup obviously passed them by! As for the players...they aren't paid millions and play for the love of the game so give them a break: and cheer them on a bit more!

Worried Boy!

There was, rightly, outrage and concern however when a wayward shot sent the famous bell, of Bellend fame, flying but luckily it is made of sterner stuff and survived the tumble.
There was also, justifiable anger at the increasing amount of time Lurch was taking with his goalkicks. Despite this, the ref did nothing (finally booking him in the last second of the game). In this respect, the bloke calling him a Gonk was fully justified, although Lurch / Shaun lacked the wild hair, and questioning his potty-mouth was similarly justified.

Springtime relaxation?

The only other highlight of the match was Barry's argument with our visiting Maltese Falcon, Mr Hall, over whether Seaham's Liam McBride was a Gibraltar international. The jury is still out on that one but the argument that it is true because Liam told him he was...just doesn't hold water with me.
The game ended with Lurch's booking and apart from the brief appearance of Chrissy Y, whose accurate passing created a number of chances, there was little to shout about. Shame, it was such a nice day until then!

1st March 2016 -NL - Marske Town (h)

Last week's impressive 1-1 draw against second placed Guisborough had been followed up by a 2-0 away win at Jarrow Roofing. The latter earned without the contribution of the sent off Kane.
Tonight's crowd of just over 200 turned up with renewed hope of seeing the Bay pull further away from the relegation zone.

Pink One!

The hot news before the game was that Blyth's tough centre forward, Ash Davies had re-signed for the Bay. Unfortunately, Shanksy was injured for the game and Chris Youlden was named number 9: no offence Chris btw.

Howleenio!

The first half hour, however lacked chances but was brightened up by the barracking of the visiting pink-clad keeper by the Whitley Bay High School Ultras, who accompanied each goal kick with the phrase "You @%£$ &?%$?!#..." A real throwback to the happy days of the terraces in the eighties and nineties. They then turned their attention to a couple of lads at the front who they serenaded with "We've got Howleenio..." a reference to his skills on the school playground. Apparently they would barrack school playground games when not at Hillheads. Surely dedication to football fandom!
Then, once again, after half an hour the game woke up as the heavens opened and we headed for the soft lads option -  the covered stand. This was not for the WBHS Ultras nor Howleenio who continued their brave vigil. They were rewarded when Ash expertly ran onto a through ball before rounding the Pink One to send the lads wild.

Too much for some!

This lead lasted 7 minutes before Marske scored. It looked like another rubbish goal from a long way out but to be honest I was writing notes down and missed it. Soon after Marske had a game of pinball on the edge of the Bay box but thankfully the home side managed to clear. There was a chance for Whitley when a Marske defender passed back to Mr Pinkie. He had to dive to his right to keep the ball out.
At half time, it was disappointing to find that I couldn't partake in my new favourite delicacy / match treat: enormous cola bottle dipped in tea: Tommy hadn't been to the cash and carry: Haribo cola bottles just don't cut it: sorry Tommy.
Into the second half Whitley had their own game of pinball but the ball just wouldn't bounce into the net as Marske pulled everyone back (almost). After that Ash had a shot tipped over the bar before just missing out on a Pinkie one on one. The lads were playing some great stuff with Chris McDonald finding great space as he bombed up and down the wing. It was Ash Davis, however, who was at the centre of most of the Bay attacks.
It was exciting stuff! However, just when it looked like we were going to get another draw against a team near the top, a diving header crashed against the otherwise impressive Dan Gladstone's crossbar before bouncing over the line to give Marske the winner.
Cup game to come Thursday, lets hope for better luck then!