15th March 2016 Newcastle Benfield (h)

Whitley Bay Scally?

Fed up with the lack of warm weather, I decided to take matters into my own hands and raid Doug's Bay Bargain Bin at the club shop. The blue and white wigs didn't look likely to bring the heat but then I spotted the Wembley 2009-10 VINTAGE sun-hat: sorted for that late 80s Madchester revival: all for the princely sum of £1. However, I would still resist the massive flared jeans and smiley face t-shirt. Joining the Boy Mark and I were young Whitey and Silly, neither of whom we had seen for a while and the former was extremely excited about the signing of Bulgarian Nikolay Ivanov. Where he had come from, nobody knew, although the Bulgarian town of Blyth was mentioned. Whitey was extremely excited about the prospect of witnessing the first Bulgarian to pull on a Bay shirt. A moment in history that would probably heighten the sales of Bay shirts and sun-hats in the Balkans he predicted.

Getting to grips with Shanks?

The first 30 minutes passed by with little of note except for the drizzle
that forced most of the fans to take refuge under the stands: those with and without sun-hats.
Unfortunately, a two-footed / dangerous / sliding tackle ( I was distracted) saw Bay's Aiden Haley, still not sure who he was, getting an early bath. The mood around Hillheads dropped as the writing appeared on the wall. After Saturday's inept display there had been a marked improvement (we hadn't conceded any rate) but now escaping without defeat looked decidedly tricky. But which Whitley would we see, now? The battling one? Benfield pressed but our hopes were raised Ashy D was sent through 1 on 1 on goal. His effort was saved by an outstretched Andy Grainger's foot.
Thankfully we made it through to half time at 0-0 and a chance to dunk an enormous cola bottle into a cup of tea lifted my spirits. Maybe the players had done likewise because they looked a lot more fired up in the second half. The visitors pressed more effectively but Flynn was on his metal to pull off a magnificent fingertip save before the rebound sailed past his post.
Although under the cosh, it was a really strong performance and when our Bulgarian hero replaced Chrissy Y, everyone seemed to grow in stature. A brilliant tackle from Shanksy won the ball near the dugouts and as the ball flew towards Niko, he brilliantly byureked (a Bulgarian dish apparently) a Benfield defender to lay the ball off. A full-length, diving Kempstervator met the ball to beat Grainger.

Delighted locals!

This meant we wouldn't be subjected to any Grainger Games: slowing the game down and the like... There was also shades of an ex Bay manager when the Benfield boss was heard to shout
 "$%£@!& lazy!" at his own players as they stood, bemused by the Bay's, and Kempster's, brilliance.

None of your time-wasting games!

In fact the lads were straight back and like the giants they had become were dominating play. It was Benfield's turn to rely on breakaways. Silly did his best goading the hapless Grainger by commenting:
 "You've got lovely boots..." He took it in the spirit it was meant: silly.

Tommy knew it was over!

In the final minute Shanksy battled his way into the box and found Alexio Kempstervator. He superbly rounded the keeper and scored from the tightest of angles with a real blasting shot. We were delighted.
We almost began singing "We only had ten men!" but the final whistle sent us home!