27th October - Morpeth (h)

This was going to be an entry like last Saturday's and I was wondering whether there would be any point writing about the match. Certainly in the first half it was a complete non-event as far as the Bay were concerned. Five - nil down at half time and only the prospect of a cup of tea and a sneaky chocky bar at Tommy's Tea Emporium worth raising any cheer...yet the evening had started so well.
My walk up to the ground had put me in a good mood as I reveled in the autumn splendour of Hillheads Road. The floodlight gleaming through the trees and the crisp golden and red leaves on the ground - a perfect evening for footie. There was a bit of a shock when I found out the programmes had sold out but I managed to fight back the tears and battle bravely on...

There was always the Whitley Bay Twitter feed with its fancy team line up to enjoy with its shock - not really -  news that Shanksy and Chuck Norris were on the bench. A run in the Vase would be a great way to show the progress in the club.
Then the game started and in the company of Neil and Paul and some of Neil's friends from Coventry, up for the week and staying at Cresswell Caravan Park, we witnessed Morpeth held at bay for 25 minutes then, with the help initially of a post the floodgates opened. In Twenty minute five goals flew in. I needed something stronger than tea! Yes that's right - chocolate!
Fortified by my snacks, I waited for more goals to fly in the Whitley net. I blindly said to the others that all the goals would go into the Morpeth net - we all laughed but took our places behind the large, bearded green machine that was Morpeth's keeper's goal.
Neil's mate's sons spent the half laughing about how much their keeper's outfit reminded them of snot: right down to his green boots. There were also fond memories of Dick and Dom playing "Bogies" in quiet spots of the world.
Surprisingly Shanks and Norris had been sent to rescue the situation and suddenly it was a different game. Whitley pressed, harried and finally managed to get a shot on goal. this was followed by another and finally ....a goal. At this point I may have had another out of body experience as the goal was scored - there must have been an alien craft lying in wait to carry out more experiments on me and causing the fog that was increasing in its density. This was because my film of the goal ended up as only a photo of the Green not-so-lean Machine trying to keep the ball off a desperate Shanksy.
As it was we were delighted by Shanksy's "chip" and Hudson's "looping header". (Thanks Whitley Bay Twitter for those ones).
Soon after we had our own version of the Russian linesman in the World Cup Final 1966...

The ball looked to have gone miles out but play was waved on for Shanksy to head home at the second attempt. The Coventry contingent went wild.

....and  Shanks is down!

Rapture on the terraces!

A slight concern came when Shanks went down a couple of times...supposedly to tie his shoe lace then the physio got involved. Thankfully there was no need: the goal maestro managed his double knot after some minor boot repair! The gamble at putting him on for the second half didn't look like ending in disaster for the Vase game on Saturday.



The final goal arrived late on, this time Bramley scoring his first goal of the season.

We had won the second half 3-0, forgotten the first half and could look forward with more optimism to the Vase game on Saturday. Top tip from the wise owl at the Bellend:....don't concede five if you expect to win!
Good luck on Saturday: shame I can't go!

24th October 2015 - Penrith

The title of one of my favourite episodes of the X Files featured Lucy Lawless (Xena Warrior Princess...remember?) as a, possibly alien, assassin. The title read:
Nothing Important Happened Here Today.

Look at those divots!
A health and safety
nightmare!

This seemed extremely apt for a match in which absolutely nothing seemed to happen...at all.
It was a match that was short on chances: Gladstone's two footed save and another clearance by a Whitley player were all the chances we had to talk about at half time. In fact the Boy Mark described it as "Possibly the worst half he had ever seen." Plenty of endeavour from both teams but nothing to show.
Ian 'I have nothing to do with the club's Twitter' wondered what I would be including in my blog...certainly hardly anything to do with the game itself.
In fact there was so little to talk about that we brought up the issue of Divetgate at the Allotment End. It had been that bad.
There was a real shock for us though when we arrived for our half time cup of tea and Bovril (not in the same cup). Tommy had built a completely futuristic combined hotel and ski-slope, without telling anyone. Mark and Neil were certainly thrown by that one! We all agreed that Tommy was certainly showing forward thinking with the weather turning colder and the end of British Summer Time but had big doubts that it would be there come Tuesday as Tommy had forgotten to get planning permission from the council and we noticed a number of the locals were exceedingly cross. Back to the drawing board Tommy!

Tell us another Barry....on second
thoughts....please don't.

Thankfully the second half livened up a touch despite the moment when the Jokester that is Barry mentioned:
"Did you hear about the town that disappeared in Yorkshire? Police are looking for Leeds!" The Bay forced a number of corners but they all come to nothing and late in the game it was only the quick thinking Flynn that saved us from defeat with the impressive-looking Gladstone beaten he emerged to clear the ball from the line.
In the end, nothing did happen here at Hillheads...and the Ski Slope will be taken down, probably. The lads will have to shape for Tuesday and Saturday....perhaps Paddy could try playing more than one forward...just a thought! As a precaution I decided to wash my Whitley shirt and hat.....
May as well finish with a picture of our Lucy.....

17th October 2015 - Seaham Red Star (a)

This we supposed to be a day off from football but then the call came through that The Boy Mark's daughter, Amy wanted to go to see the Bay on her birthday weekend! Could the youth of today really enjoy the scene that held us old fogies in thrall? Here's hoping. Ever since my own daughter had turned her back on her Bay season ticket and nights spent with her trusty Vuvuzela for the comfort of a computer, our trips to see the Bay had effectively become lads nights out. Amy had actually wanted to come. There is hope for the future!

Friday night at Benfield Sports Centre
- come and join us for a fun hour of footie.

Use it Atkinson and you too
can be as good as me!

The weekend had started with a bath to ease the aches from my Just Play footie session (all welcome - 6-7pm Friday nights @Benfield Sports Centre 3G - all abilities £3 - just turn up) and I noticed that a facewash I had been bought for Christmas was called "Winning Skin".
With my girls' team in desperate need of a win after losing our local derby against Newcastle East End the week before I was willing to clutch at any straw. Lo and behold, after one of the most physical girls' games I have ever witnessed the Mighty Hawks triumphed 2-0. It was an omen!

One of the easiest grounds to find, Seaham was soon reached and the sun even began shining on our indomitable trio.
The ground had a homely feel about it, surrounded by tree-life and playing fields: today felt like a good day.
Unfortunately while I was musing about the new fashion sported by a Bay fan - blue and white paperclip decorating his cap - Seaham were ahead. I didn't see it so therefore I decided to ignore the fact that it happened. The bay were looking sluggish at the back and Dan the Gladstone was not looking too confident in goal. But as the game wore on things improved on both fronts. Kempster and Hughes were getting some joy on the wings and Shanksy was annoying the opposition.

Relaxing in the sun!

Then, a freekick was awarded,  Bertram played in a sweet ball for Hudson, (still not calling him Rock) , to head in. It was at this point that I was abducted by aliens: the only logical explanation. I started videoing the freekick and my phone showed the kick just about to be taken then the next bit was the celebrations behind the goal among the massed throngs of fans. I imagine that in the moment the kick was taken,I had been whisked up into a spaceship and experimented on - seen it all on the  X files - then returned in time to celebrate the goal. I also had a scar, possibly from an operation to create the ultimate non-league football fan. Although it could have been from last year's hernia operation. Ian, from the club's Twitter fame, said it was just that I was a crap videoer. As if!
I wish I'd been abducted by aliens for Seaham's second goal - the sight of Gladders lying on the floor and being chipped at a height of two feet will haunt both of us for a long time.
Thankfully there was no mistake in filming when the Kempstervator raced into the penalty area and was brought down by the worst tackle in the history of worst tackles that day. The Seaham number 5 (another one) Dan Kirkup even had the gall to complain against the penalty!

Shanksy duly dispatched the spot kick and we could breath again.
At half time we made our way to the doll's house that dominated the ground: a very attractive combination of blue (for the Sea) and pink (for the Ham).

The pink and blue doll's house:
which is nice.

We aren't having chips with gravy! Oh no!

In the second half, Gladstone looked more comfortable with both his handling and positioning and the Bay team looked more solid. It was good to note that the expected mauling by ex-Whitley stars Birdie Bird and Sparky Kerr hadn't materialised and when Bertram swung in a corner, there was Shanks to rise above the rest to head home.

The youngster, who had had a relatively quiet game, certainly picked his moments and with 12 minutes left to play looked to have given the Bay an unexpected win. Although there were still a nervy final few minutes, the attacking prowess and never-say-die attitude of the rest of the team had pulled it out of the fire.
The league title was still on! Eight games in hand on the leaders, Shildon and only 23 points behind them. Easy! Easy!
It was now 2 wins in 2 for Young Amy and a Happy Birthday from the Bay Boys!

6th and 13th October - Two teams in red

Northumberland Senior Cup - Team Northumbria

I wondered on the way to the ground, if Team North were to become the ultimate yoyo team in the Northern League as they built up a new team only for every third year lose their best players as they graduate and head off elsewhere. I remember them coming to Hillheads a couple of years (maybe 3?) ago and their young bucks tearing apart the Bay team 5-0. The sad part of it all had been that they had had no fans there to chat to, hear celebrate and it had been a small crowd anyway. They weren't exactly a big draw..so what had been the point of them playing in our league? Surely there were enough university teams for them to play against?
But then we did have Team North to thank for the likes of Jennison, Richardson and Bertram so some good things had come out of their existence.
Tonight's game was always going to be overshadowed by the forthcoming FA Cup match and the game wasn't much to write about, so I won't say much.

Concern over the appearance of
this ancient horde of glass...

There was an influx of small people who 'sung' their way through the first half, confusing most people with their hatred of Grimsby and love for Gateshead. They also made good use of the bins and signage around the ground to add a samba-type rhythm to their 'music'. The consensus seemed to be that they were Gateshead fans on a jolly (the Heed were playing Grimsby and lost) to the Bay. They couldn't have got to Grimsby by the time they had finished school so had settled for a seaside night out.

The Fog!

At half time, there was concern at the amount of glass that a small child had collected from the soil behind the goal and placed in a neat pile but thankfully that pile had disappeared by the next fixture. Probably picked up by a collector who had then sold it on for a small fortune....it had been that old!
The second half carried on in an uninspiring way and The Boy Mark started worrying about the possibility of extra time and the need to pick his son up from babysitting duties. Also of note was the fact that a scarily dense fog was descending on hillheads, a bit like the film where a bunch of passengers on a leprosy ship had run aground on rocks and then terrorised the town near where they had died. Luckily there was no need for us to hide in a church and wait for a scary dude to come along with a great big sword. Instead, for Team North, it turned out to be Alex Kempster who ghosted in through the fog and latched onto a weak backpass before slotting past the keeper in the second minute of added time.

Alex didn't need a scimitar - only a trusty boot!

League - Shildon (h)

So this was what a league match was like? A bit like a cup match but without as much excitement and a smaller crowd.

Half-time pot-holes!
Still waiting for the council to
 fill them in.

Maestro Moira rattled her pans
....billboard , really.

The Boy Mark and I were finally able to use our season ticket again and were delighted when Shanks applied some nifty footwork to set up Liam Hudson (I'm not going to call him Rock...so will have to keep searching for a nickname). He slammed a super header past ex Whitley super-keeper-who-then-ran-off-to-Spendymoor. This came slightly against the run of play as Shildon had been taking control and Jennison was having to be on his metal throughout the first half. With half time in sight it was Josh Day who was called upon to prevent a certain goal, throwing his body in the way of a strike.
There was bad new ten minutes in the second half when Jennison went down clutching his hand and despite bravely trying to carry on, had to be replaced by Dan Gladstone. The youngster looked extremely nervous and had a few scares at the start of his spell back in goal.
Barry the wandering minstrel tried to cheer the Bay players up with his song "Shanksy for the music...", originally performed by Abba, and even his joke about toilet seats in Ashington failed to put off Kyle Hayes as the Bay failed to test our ex-keeper-who-then-ran-off-to-Spendymoor.
The visitors finally found the net when a scramble ended up with a header in the 72nd minute. Then with four minutes left, a catalogue of errors finished with Josh Day scoring an own goal.
A fair result in the end and one we would have taken at the start of the night. But the big question remains as to whether Dan is ready to fill the big shoes that have been left him.

10.10.15 - FA Cup 3rd Qualifying round - Chorley (h)

The day had arrived and the Bay Facebook and Twitter feeds had made sure we knew about it with a daily countdown. The outrageous price of £8 had been paid and I was pleased to see that there was a decent crowd already in the ground, expectantly waiting for the big game....and I had even arrived half an hour early!
The Boy Mark arrived early too but the first worrying sign was the relative sizes of the Chorley players...compared to our Bay maestros, these were giants.

The giants of Chorley....

...and the giant-hearted of Whitley.

The game was only four minutes old when a Chorley header was cleared off the Bay goal line with Jennison beaten. This prompted Neil to comment:

"That's not a good start..." and so it proved as Chorley pushed the home team back. However there were signs of a home revival as Kempster and Kris Hughes starting getting joy down the wings through their trickery and determination. 

Hughes finds space...

Suddenly, Shanks was clear of the colossus' in the visiting defending with only the keeper to beat. The Shankster perfectly lobbed him from 25 yards out and the Bay were 1-0 up. Game of the season? I think there will more to follow from the youngster.

1-0 to the Mighty Bay!

This got one of the former Bellend Choir regulars, who hadn't been seen for a while at Hillheads (we'd have heard him), into a screaming solo of "Whitley Road, take me home..." One of the old faithful tunes!

Bob and the Boy Mark go crazy mental mad!

The paparazzi were there!
Laptop, dongle and everything!

This annoyed Chorley and just after the half hour mark Jennison had to be on his mettle to brilliantly fingertip away a header that seemed bound for his top left hand corner. The Bay were showing their giants...their colossus' a real fight. Andy 'the bus' Jennison (or 'the wall'  - not sure which sounds best) was up for it today. Could the impossible happen?

There was bad news for Super Skipper Reidy as he went down and despite trying to carry on had to be substituted. Dillon Blake came on in his place. 

Chorley were gaining more control of the game but Blakey burst forward and was bearing down on the keeper. His shot was saved by the legs of Ashton in the visiting goal and despite falling to Bay feet, they just couldn't find the target.

Into the second half and the onslaught continued. The Shankster was getting no joy as the two monsters at the heart of the Chorley defence showed all their experience to block his path with their titanic frames. Then three minutes into the second half, the visitors laid siege to the Bay goal and after two shots had been blocked by last ditch defending, the third was squeezed in.

There were still moments for the Bay and the Kempstervator burst through on goal but Kieran Charnock (titan no 5 for the visitors) clipped his heals as he pulled away. The ref bottled the red card, much to the annoyance of the majority of the 782 crowd. Bay fan, code-named Mr Angrypants, behind the visiting goal, showed his disgust for the decision more vociferously than the rest of us...but then he was an expert at being angry at home games.

Angrypants was even angrier soon after when Chorley broke after sustained Bay pressure and ended up with a breakaway goal. A long ball across the field ended up with a cross and a header. 

Bay pile on the pressure...

Just when the visitors looked to be closing down the game, Shankster popped up at the far post to head in the equaliser! the Bay were level. Even Angrypants was happy! 

Shankster - goal number two! Ta muchly!

We began to believe again and so did the players. Number 5 for Chorley was becoming public enemy number 1 - now nicknamed "Cuddles" because of his tendency to put his arms around the home forwards.  

Still the Bay press....

Unfortunately on another breakaway, another shot was stopped only for the ball to pop up in front of another Chorley forward who just managed to tip it in past the grounded Jennison. The feeling of disappointment even got to Moira who told a small kid to stop banging on the advertising boards because it was giving her a headache!

Chorley had been a strong team but the boys had done us proud and certainly given their visitors from 3 leagues above a real shock. Paddy's boys had kept going to the end and it was nice to see Ashton applauding the home fans who had given him grief all game.

The fans that stayed behind warmly applauded both teams off, although there were boos from the seats for the titanic visitors they still applauded the home fans all the same. David had come so close to beating Goliath!

3.10.15 FA Vase 2nd QR West Allotment Celtic (h)

This game had crept on us, what with the excitement of the FA Cup, our potential Cup Final in 10 wins time and a derby win against North Shields. In fact it is bizarre to think that we are nearly two months into the season and have only had two league home games. This local derby was not a league game either but with no disrespect to our friends up Whitley Road meant, most were expecting a comfortable home win: such was the strides the team have made under Paddy.

David: gone but not forgotten:
He would have been so proud
of both Paul and the Bay.

The previous night, it had been great to celebrate Whitley fans Paul and Clare marriage up in Newcastle. In true, loyal tradition the couple arrived at the ground clutching a can of coke each: an impressive feat bearing in mind the state we had left them in the previous night. the evening had brought back memories of my good friend, and Paul's dad, David who had died suddenly over a year ago. He would have loved the evening and above all would have loved watching this new Bay team and their passionate football.

Bell scores 1-0

In fact the game had hardly got started when the Bay were 1-0 up. A great battling run from the Kempstervator by the goal-line ended with him out-muscling a visiting defender before he rolled a fantastic ball across to new boy Michael Bell to score. This was shortly followed by Chris Pinball Wizard Reidster scoring; finishing off a scramble in the six yard box.

An unhappy keeper...

Shortly after Bob delivered one of his famous Bob's Bombshells: "Reid needs to keep calm.." he repeated as the Bay Captain was booked for another tough tackle. this however, was seconds after telling us that Reidy's captain-ship had turned it him into a much more responsible and controlled player. On 17 minutes it was Kempster's turn to score as he turned in number three.
The game slowed down after that and discussion turned to the opposition: firstly the Celtic centre forward who looked more like a rugby player but had demonstrated in the previous meeting that he had a fair amount of skill and then it centred on the strange Celtic goalkeeper.

Alice what's the matter?

Nicknamed Alice by the bloke next to us: because of his bizarre hair cut. It was decided he was a Twilight Zone throwback to the Madchester days. with his full sideboards, 90s retro hair and either receding hairline or keenness for an Alice band.
However, when I watched him running around he reminded me of a cartoon version I had seen of Rumpelstiltskin...Poor lad hadn't had a chance with any of the goals but must have had a smile on his face when Chris Reid went in with two Celtic forwards and he was credited with the last touch. If he hadn't been happy about being booked, Reidy's face must have been scraping the ground when the tanoy announcer gleefully announced the own goal.

In the second half, the game drifted into a midfield scrap. It livened up when super sub Stephen Young was played through on goal. He nutmegged Alice then tapped in the ball when it wouldn't cross the line. In stoppage time it was Kristopher Hughes who rounded poor Alice before slamming a superb shot from a tight angle into the net.
 5-1 the final score and it had all been quite easy. Another Cup Game and another win...next up Team Northumbria then the small matter of an encounter with Northern conference side Chorley. Surely the crowd would be a lot bigger than the 314 present today. What a great time to be a Bay fan. A big team to scalp and the promise of the Shankster back from suspension! Haway the Bay!